The Tragic, Spectacular Failure To Make the Peltz-Beckhams Happen
Plus, "The Bachelor" franchise continues to crash and burn, and Arielle Charnas's followers are... speculating.
Hi from Greece! I’m on vacation, but I love doing this too much and have not unplugged from the celebrity gossip world. (Duh.) Also: This is an official reminder that my podcast, “So True With Sophie Ross,” is BACK! Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. So far this season I’ve welcomed on writer and author of Vagina Problems, Lara Parker, to talk “Southern Charm,” “Summer House,” and more, and on next week’s ✨SPECIAL INFLUENCER EXTRAVAGANZA✨, I welcome on Samantha Bush (aka @BravoHistorian or @TakeYourZoloft) to discuss the influencers we love to talk about. (The Charnas Family Extended Universe, for one—also, Jessie James Decker and beyond.) Read on for a CFEU segment below and stay tuned for the podcast episode dropping Tuesday, September 27.
Now, let’s get into it.
The future should be bright for Brooklyn Beckham. As the son of superstar Brits David and Victoria, he’s essentially royalty, and certainly looks the part over Sausage Fingers Charles.
So, what happened? The path to stardom should’ve been so, so simple.
But… nothing he does seems to hit.
He tried out the whole soccer player footballer thing. Following in his father’s footsteps. Understandable. It didn’t work out.
At one point, he took a stab at modeling.
There was the widely mocked “photography” book. (Attaching his iconic elephant shot below for posterity.)
There’s his (current) pivot to wanting to start an empire as a chef. “I would love to have my own pub. I would love to have my own sauces, knives, pots and pans,” he told Variety. “I want to have so many TV shows, and hopefully one day open up a pub in L.A.”
Earlier this year, he married daughter of billionaire investor Nelson Peltz, Nicola, and received a spread of his wedding in Vogue.
He, of course, proudly posited that the two deserve a reality show. “I’ve always said to my wife, we should actually do a reality TV show, because she’s so funny, and we take the piss out of each other all the time. She sometimes doesn’t get my English humour.” (British spelling is intentional.)
They announced they were hyphenating their names into the “Peltz-Beckhams,” because he “just thought it was different. Not many guys take their wives' names. So, I was just like, 'Why not?' It fit really cool together."
That’s so deep.
Somehow, Brooklyn landed one of the covers of Variety’s “Power of Young Hollywood” issue. The problem is… no one knows exactly what he does.
As Guardian writer Marina Hyde brilliantly put it in her article titled “Brooklyn Beckham’s Ever-Evolving Career Path Is a Balm In Our Dark Times”: “I have hugely enjoyed every single one of the high-profile professions thus far embraced by Brooklyn, 23—footballer, art photographer, published monograph author, model, and now chef. Is there nothing he can do?”
Of course, it doesn’t help his case that his wife, Nicola, appears to not have a stellar reputation for her part. Rumors have swirled for years that she may or may not have pushed her former nanny down the stairs. (For the record, the family of her late nanny has denied these claims.)
Nicola—like her husband—has tried on the whole “career” thing, too. (You gotta hand it to them: At least they’re not complacent living quietly among their billions without bothering any of us!) Her father—again, a billionaire investor—has, more than likely, had a hand in getting her bit parts in films like The Last Airbender and Transformers: Age of Extinction.
I can’t particularly explain exactly why I’m fascinated by these two, but I think part of it is undoubtedly because their paths to success should’ve been so simple. Famous parents. Mega-wealthy. Conventionally attractive. What more could you possibly need?!
And, yet… no one seems to care. In fact, most people seem to have a visceral reaction to news surrounding the two.
Stories have recently been hitting the press regarding the fact that Nicola and Brooklyn’s mom, Posh Spice Victoria, allegedly have beef. (This has been no secret since the twosome’s wedding, with plenty of rumors swirling that Victoria and Nicola do not get on.) Whether it’s the Peltz-Beckham camp leaking these stories or someone close to them, there seems to be a different news bit making the rounds about them every single week.
But, again, no one seems to care.
No matter how many millions their families might be paying the press in an attempt to make them happen, they’re simply not happening. And probably won’t, at this point.
Again, most nepotism kids do have it easy. But the failure to launch the Peltz-Beckhams proves that even the most wealthy, connected, and attractive celebrity kids need to have at least some… je ne sais quoi. At least a smidge of discernible talent, passion, or charm. Nicola and Brooklyn seem to be famous for wanting fame. And that’s it. But fans beget fame, and what are we supposed to be fans of when it comes to these two?
“The Bachelor” Franchise Has Failed Its Viewers—For the Umpteenth Time
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