I… Actually Enjoyed an Awards Show For Once?
Plus: my thoughts on Hailey Bieber's recent contribution to the "nepo baby" discourse, Lisa Rinna's termination, and Jax Taylor's newest lie.
I know it’s too late in the year to say this, but: Happy New Year! FYI, I’ll be sending out extra newsletters this month to make up for the little holiday hiatus I took at the beginning of January. The good news is: There’s a LOT to talk about. HOOOO BOY, 2023 is already off to a hot start!
Anyway: Generally speaking, I no longer have any hope for awards shows. Especially ones that aren’t the Oscars.
But last night’s 80th Annual Golden Globe Awards were… surprisingly good?
Of course, the Globes have been famously embattling a racism scandal: In 2021, the Los Angeles Times revealed that the governing body for the Globes had exactly zero (0x) Black voting members. Soon after, another LA Times exposé further uncovered discriminatory voting practices, too. 2022’s live show subsequently wasn’t aired.
So, expectations were… low for this year’s show—and many people on Twitter seemed to not have even known about it.
And, against all odds… people seemed to enjoy it!
Here were some of my favorite moments, ranked in no particular order:
Jerrod Carmichael’s hosting chops, which had the audience squirming in their seats for much of the night. My personal favorite joke was the one in which he referenced Shelley Miscavige in the context of negotiating with Tom Cruise for her safe return.
Austin Butler’s bizarre Elvis accent. No, I do not believe that he acted SO HARD 🤘 it permanently damaged his vocal chords and gave him a completely different pattern of speech. What do I look like, a bozo?
There’s no way like I absolutely refuse to believe this. Even if it damaged his vocal chords it wouldn’t suddenly BEQUEATH HIM WITH A REGIONAL ACCENT #goldenglobes https://t.co/M16MS7p97I@SophRossss There’s conspiracy theories that playing Elvis permanently changed his voice 😭
Real Bravoholic @RealBravoholic
Ryan Murphy’s montage and tributes to Billy Porter, MJ Rodriguez, Niecy Nash, Matt Bomer, and more. Whatever you think of him, he’s made a career of lifting up talent from marginalized groups and giving them a platform to be unapologetically themselves. How many of your favorite show creators can say that?!
Ryan Murphy’s montage being set to “Born This Way” (Glee Cast version) which then transitioning into “Mastermind” by Taylor Swift.
Amanda Seyfried winning the Best Actress award for her role as Elizabeth Holmes in “The Dropout.” (It was such a f*cking iconic performance.)
The presenters (from “Yellowstone”?) accepting the award on her behalf, claiming she couldn’t make the show because she was “deep in the process of creating a new musical this week.”
Ke Huy Quan’s acceptance speech for his “Everything Everywhere All At Once” win, which made me sob mere minutes into the start of the program.
Michelle Yeoh telling the pianist to shut up during her acceptance speech for her “Everything Everywhere All At Once” role—and the pianist actually obeying.
Steven Spielberg won Best Director and essentially admitted “The Fablemans” was one big, $40 million therapy session for him. Also, that his mom was “up there, kvelling” over his win. I love the Yiddish representation. (And I need to finally see the movie, damnit!)
Angela Bassett winning a second Golden Globe 29 years after her first.
Tyler James Williams, Quinta Brunson, and “Abbott Elementary” all had great nights.
Quinta Brunson saying, “Hey, Brad Pitt” in the middle of her acceptance speech.
Jennifer Coolidge winning for “The White Lotus,” and putting her statue on the ground because she doesn’t work out and couldn’t be deigned to hold onto it for very long. Extremely relatable! Also, her sweet tribute to Mike White.
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky showing up, like, in the middle of some other award being presented.
“The White Lotus” winning Best Limited Series. I miss it so, so much.
Mike White being extremely drunk during his speech and gloating at how everyone in that room had passed on the show.
Julia Garner’s dress.
Daisy Edgar-Jones’ dress.
Anya Taylor-Jones looking like a chic vampire.
Some of my least favorite moments:
Colin Farrell telling Ana de Armas that he cried himself to sleep after watching “Blonde” for the first time.
Margot Robbie’s red-carpet return to Chanel.
All that is to say: I’m—for the first time I can remember—actually hopeful for the future of awards shows. All I ask is that Jimmy Kimmel continues to stay far, far away.
The New #PumpRules Trailer Hath Dropped. (Plus, BREAKING NEWS: Jax Taylor Caught In Lie.)
After what felt like years, the trailer for the new season of #PumpRules finally dropped, and you can bet your ass I’m sucked the f*ck back in.
Some highlights:
Katie and Schwartz’s divorce
Schwartz’s hookup with Raquel
James Kennedy’s relationship with his new girlfriend, who expresses disapproval at his drinking habits
(So… James Kennedy is off the wagon? Oy.)
The tumultuous journey leading up to the opening of Schwartz & Sandy’s
~Brock~ and Scheana become husband and wife in Cabo
More Charli! 😍
I’m so into it, TBH. I know we can never truly relive the glory days of seasons one through three, but there finally seems to be genuine, organic drama among the original cast. We’ve watched them for a decade now—isn’t that insane?—and there’s a reason we’ve all stuck around this long! As frustrated as I’ve been at times over the past few seasons, I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you. I know it, you know it, Andy knows it.
Anyway. In related news, Jax and Kristen had different versions of events when it came to how they were treated by the camera crew at Scheana and Brock’s wedding. (Since, y’know, everyone was filming and they got fired.) According to Kristen on her podcast “Sex, Love, and What Else Matters,” she and Jax were “triggered” and uncomfortable by the presence of “Vanderpump Rules” cameras while they had to stay out-of-frame.
On the contrary, Jax said in an Instagram comment that he and Brittany were asked to film but “politely declined.”
So, who do we think is lying?!?!?!?! Lol.
Hailey Bieber & the “Nepo Baby” Discourse’s Descent Into Disingenuousness
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