Erika Jayne, You Heartless Wench
Plus: Why does Michaela Podolsky have a platform again? And the Kardashians are klawing for relevancy in more desperate fashion than usual.
I know Queen Elizabeth II just died, but we’re going to talk about something more important today: the latest episode of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”
Even if you don’t watch the show, there’s a fascinating backstory to the drama at the center of this episode: Tom Girardi’s web of lies. A web of lies that entails embezzling millions of dollars of settlement money from his law firm, siphoning off funds that were meant to go to victims of gas-leak explosions and plane crashes (aka, his own clients) in order to fund his lavish lifestyle, and much, much more.
Tom was, of course, married to housewife Erika Jayne (née Chahoy), who filed for divorce shortly before the news of his fraud hit the media in late 2020. This, in turn, led to speculation that the two were trying to conceal assets before being hit with a tsunami of lawsuits.
In any case, I find the discourse surrounding “whether or not Erika knew” to be exhausting and fruitless. To me, it doesn’t really matter at this point. As I said on Twitter this week, it matters that she knows now. And her behavior says so, so much about who she is as a human being.
Backing up a bit: To many viewers’ disappointment, we didn’t get many answers last season. Erika hissed and snarled at anyone who dared to question her, and Andy Cohen failed to ask anything truly hard-hitting at the reunion. (Remember when he said he was going to “put her on a skewer and fire up the barbecue”? What happened to that?!)
On this week’s episode, however, Erika showed her entire ass, and it was—without question—the best and most revealing episode of this season so far.
Major credit to the ABC News documentary that centers on the Girardi scandal, released last year and titled “The Housewife & The Hustler.” It gave faces to the victims, told their stories in heartbreaking and humanizing fashion, and provided much-needed context to viewers like myself. I highly recommend watching it if you haven’t already. (It’s streaming on Hulu.)
It seems like some of Erika’s costars may have finally watched it, too.
In this week’s episode, Erika is questioned about a pair of $750,000 earrings she procured during her marriage to Tom—allegedly with misappropriated funds, of course. (This summer, a judge did, in fact, order for her to hand them over, as they had, in fact, been purchased with money that was transferred directly from a client’s trust account.) Needless to say, Tom’s victims and their legal representation have the right to recoup their stolen settlement money however they can. (One of the victims, in particular, requires around-the-clock medical care and skin grafts for third-degree burns due to that previously mentioned gas-leak explosion. He was featured on “The Housewife & The Hustler,” and, as of filming, had never received a dime of the nearly $11 million he was owed after being represented by Tom.)
Erika and Tom had gone on lavish spending sprees with money that wasn’t rightfully theirs. Some of it is gone forever—what was spent on Erika’s failed music career, for example, as well as the millions it takes to maintain the multiple private jets the couple owned at one point—and some of it is, clearly, still sitting in Erika’s closet.
To viewers’ shock and horror, Erika insisted that it wasn’t her duty to give up her $750,000 earrings to try to make the victims whole. (“They aren’t my victims.”) In fact, she outright said that she “doesn’t give a f*ck about anyone else but [herself].” She explained that she would only give back to the victims if she was ordered to in a court of law. She also alluded to the idea—for the second time this season!—that Tom’s victims may be lying. (“Alleged victims,” she shrieked.)
And that says everything. Erika has zero interest in helping make things right with those whose stolen settlements funded her extravagant lifestyle for years, if not decades. Erika only cares about Erika, and has deluded herself into thinking her castmates should feel the same. She is the real victim, dontcha know?
I’m certain there’s a way she could’ve handled this that would have gained her sympathy from viewers. But it starts with sympathy for the victims. And in Erika’s mind, no one has suffered more than her—can you even imagine living in a $8,000-a-month bungalow (plus pool!) instead of a sprawling 10,000 square-foot Bel Air mansion complete with a custom chapel?
Anyone with a soul would realize that burn victims and widows and orphans left behind by a devastating plane crash—who were victimized again by Tom when he manipulated them into letting him represent them before ransacking every cent they were owed in a court of law—deserve their money more than Erika needs $750,000 earrings. But Erika seems to be seriously lacking in the “soul” department.
Props to my queens Crystal Kung Minkoff, Garcelle Beauvais, and Sutton Stracke for being on the right side of history.
On the contrary, her minions Lisa Rinna and Diana Jenkins ultimately ushered her out of the room before she could make herself look even worse. (Garcelle voice: “I don’t need to make you look bad, Erika…”) It was clear she was operating on a combination of alcohol and… something else. (Potentially downers.) The word vomit was spilling. True colors were on display. And they weren’t pretty.
It’s safe to say the lawyers and prosecutors working the case had a field day with this episode. What an ugly mess.
A Komplete List of Mind-Boggling Kardashian Ventures That Were Announced This Week And Have Me Scratching My Head In Confusion
Something must be brewing in the Kardashian kamp, because there’s zero reason for this many new projects to be announced in one week. Is there about to be some bad press they’re trying to get ahead of? A show kancellation, perhaps?
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