Jonah Hill? Eddie Murphy? Julia Louis-Dreyfus?! With a literal comedy all-star cast, “You People” was going to be a surefire, hilarious hit! Right? Right?!

Unfortunately, hardly any of the “bits” landed—and the movie’s cringe, lame, and unfunny attempts at humor weren’t the only things offensive about the movie (which was penned by Kenya Barris of “Black-ish,” Mixed-ish,” and “#BlackAF” fame in collaboration with Hill).

“You People”—another twist on 1967’s “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” and its subsequent 2005 remake, “Guess Who”—runs it back with the ol’ “whirlwind romance between white and Black partners leads to awkwardness with their respective families” trope. Based in Los Angeles, Hill plays Ezra Cohen, a white Jewish man, who falls in love with Amira Muhammad—played by Lauren London—a Black Muslim woman. Eventually, both sets of parents meet—Amira’s parents played by Murphy and Nia Long, while Ezra’s are played by Louis-Dreyfus and David Duchovny—and chaos quickly ensues.

Shelley (Louis-Dreyfus’ character), for her part, is a clumsy caricature of a well-meaning yet out-of-touch white woman who makes clunky, tokenizing, and offensive remarks to and about her future daughter-in-law (“I’ve been researching Black womens’ hair!” “I’m gonna have Black grandchildren!”). 

Eddie Murphy’s character—Akbar—is a follower of the Nation of Islam and diehard Louis Farrakhan supporter. He refers to his kufi—given to him by Farrakhan—as his most prized possession. (Of course there’s a bit in which said kufi is accidentally set on fire by Shelley over a cringe-worthy dinner scene in which the sets of parents more or less argue about who’s more oppressed between Jews and Black people, and whether or not the Holocaust was worse than slavery.) Akbar asks the Cohens if they’re “familiar with the Minister’s work,” at which point Shelley says, “I’m familiar with what he’s said about the Jews!” 

Here’s a small sampling of some of the things Louis Farrakhan has said about Jews, since the movie inexplicably did not feel compelled to include the necessary context:

• “German Jews financed Hitler. International bankers financed Hitler and poor Jews died while big Jews were at the root of what you call the Holocaust. Little Jews died while big Jews made money. Little Jews were being turned into soap while big Jews washed themselves with it.” (1995)

• “For the small number of Jewish people in the United States, they exercise a tremendous amount of influence on the affairs of the government. They exercise extraordinary control, and Black people will never be free in this country until they are free of that kind of control.” (1997)

• “The Jews have been so bad at politics that they lost half their population in the Holocaust. They thought they could trust in Hitler, and they helped him get the Third Reich on the road.” (1998)

• “The Jews have control over those agencies of government. When you want something in this world, the Jew holds the door.” (2018)

• “Satanic Jews have infected the world with poison and deceit.” (2018)

• “Call me an antisemite. Stop it. I’m anti-termite.” (2018)

• “The false Jew will lead you to filth and indecency. That’s who runs show business. That’s who runs the record industry. That’s who runs television.” (2018)

• “The enemies of Jesus were Jews. They turned away from God and used the skill and wisdom that God gave them to trick people into sin.” (2022)

In one scene, Fatima—played by Nia Long—repeats a Farrakhan talking point that Jews made money from the slave trade. (The conspiracy theory that Jews ran the slave trade has been, of course, debunked over and over again.) This subject is never broached again, refuted, or corrected. Jewish publication Hey Alma refers to this particular line as “an insidious piece of misinformation.”

So, uh… yeah. It was a bit disappointing that the movie treated a Farakkhan supporter spewing antisemitic tropes as a blip, never to be revisited during the movie.

It’s portrayed as something the Cohens will just… have to learn to accept.

One bit that goes on far too long with very little reward involves Akbar attempting to get Ezra to say the n-word while playing Kanye West on the radio.

Later, during the couples’ rehearsal dinner, Amira’s mom Fatima toasts to her family’s “newly found generational wealth.” It’s set during a montage scene and quickly cuts to the next toast, leaving me slack-jawed. The Cohen family does appear to have money (it’s heavily implied by the fact that they live in Brentwood, among other clues), but the “Jews! They have money!” trope here gave “dog whistle” more than “intelligent attempt at humor.”

And it’s not just Jewish people feeling misrepresented by the film.

For The Daily Beast, entertainment reporter Kyndall Cunningham writes, “[Barris’] perspective on Black people and the way we currently exist in the world has proven to be, in a word, problematic. His television shows have a habit of re-contextualizing Black history to fit faulty narratives or attributing social ills to personal hang-ups within the Black community…While Ezra’s parents display some ignorance, they’re at the very least accepting of his relationship. On the other hand, it’s frustrating that the main antagonist in this film is an ultra-conservative Black man. It’s almost like Barris and Hill, who wrote the film together, don’t realize that the stigma they’re exploring is a result of white racism.”

(Shameless plug: Kyndall and I recorded a podcast episode together last year, and it’s one of my favorites to this day. Give it a listen for more of her brilliant commentary.)

By the end of the movie, Shelley is rightfully apologizing for the way she’s tokenized Amira. Akbar apologizes to Ezra for continuously attempting to sabotage him (ie, by bringing him into a Crips-run barber shop wearing a red sweatshirt, or crashing his cocaine-fueled Vegas bachelor party in order to ensure he “doesn’t have fun”).

Yet, there’s no mention of antisemitism or anti-Jewish tropes by the time the credits roll. In “You People,” Jews are simply generic wealthy white folks, indistinguishable from WASPy gentiles, which—in today’s climate—is an interesting choice, to say the least.

The dialogue is absurd and the jokes aren’t funny, but most damningly, the movie doesn’t say much of anything about the topical racial questions it’s trying to raise. And whatever it does have to say is questionable at best and David Duke-approved at worst.

What to Watch Instead:

“M3GAN,” of course. Not to brag, but I’ve already seen it twice: once in theaters with my boyfriend and again after I forced my parents to watch it and paid Jeff Bezos $20 to rent it at home. (Now available to rent on Amazon.)

What Is an “Alix Earle,” Exactly?

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Anyway: Generally speaking, I no longer have any hope for awards shows. Especially ones that aren’t the Oscars. 

But last night’s 80th Annual Golden Globe Awards were… surprisingly good? 

Of course, the Globes have been famously embattling a racism scandal: In 2021, the Los Angeles Times revealed that the governing body for the Globes had exactly zero (0x) Black voting members. Soon after, another LA Times exposé further uncovered discriminatory voting practices, too. 2022’s live show subsequently wasn’t aired.

So, expectations were… low for this year’s show—and many people on Twitter seemed to not have even known about it.

And, against all odds… people seemed to enjoy it!

Here were some of my favorite moments, ranked in no particular order: 

• Jerrod Carmichael’s hosting chops, which had the audience squirming in their seats for much of the night. My personal favorite joke was the one in which he referenced Shelley Miscavige in the context of negotiating with Tom Cruise for her safe return. 

• Austin Butler’s bizarre Elvis accent. No, I do not believe that he acted SO HARD 🤘 it permanently damaged his vocal chords and gave him a completely different pattern of speech. What do I look like, a bozo? 

• Ryan Murphy’s montage and tributes to Billy Porter, MJ Rodriguez, Niecy Nash, Matt Bomer, and more. Whatever you think of him, he’s made a career of lifting up talent from marginalized groups and giving them a platform to be unapologetically themselves. How many of your favorite show creators can say that?!

• Ryan Murphy’s montage being set to “Born This Way” (Glee Cast version) which then transitioning into “Mastermind” by Taylor Swift. 

• Amanda Seyfried winning the Best Actress award for her role as Elizabeth Holmes in “The Dropout.” (It was such a f*cking iconic performance.) 

• The presenters (from “Yellowstone”?) accepting the award on her behalf, claiming she couldn’t make the show because she was “deep in the process of creating a new musical this week.”

• Ke Huy Quan’s acceptance speech for his “Everything Everywhere All At Once” win, which made me sob mere minutes into the start of the program. 

• Michelle Yeoh telling the pianist to shut up during her acceptance speech for her “Everything Everywhere All At Once” role—and the pianist actually obeying.

• Steven Spielberg won Best Director and essentially admitted “The Fablemans” was one big, $40 million therapy session for him. Also, that his mom was “up there, kvelling” over his win. I love the Yiddish representation. (And I need to finally see the movie, damnit!)

• Angela Bassett winning a second Golden Globe 29 years after her first. 

• Tyler James Williams, Quinta Brunson, and “Abbott Elementary” all had great nights.

• Quinta Brunson saying, “Hey, Brad Pitt” in the middle of her acceptance speech. 

• Jennifer Coolidge winning for “The White Lotus,” and putting her statue on the ground because she doesn’t work out and couldn’t be deigned to hold onto it for very long. Extremely relatable! Also, her sweet tribute to Mike White.

• Rihanna and A$AP Rocky showing up, like, in the middle of some other award being presented. 

• “The White Lotus” winning Best Limited Series. I miss it so, so much. 

• Mike White being extremely drunk during his speech and gloating at how everyone in that room had passed on the show.

• Julia Garner’s dress. 

• Daisy Edgar-Jones’ dress. 

• Anya Taylor-Jones looking like a chic vampire.

Some of my least favorite moments: 

• Colin Farrell telling Ana de Armas that he cried himself to sleep after watching “Blonde” for the first time. 

• Margot Robbie’s red-carpet return to Chanel. 

All that is to say: I’m—for the first time I can remember—actually hopeful for the future of awards shows. All I ask is that Jimmy Kimmel continues to stay far, far away.

The New #PumpRules Trailer Hath Dropped. (Plus, BREAKING NEWS: Jax Taylor Caught In Lie.)

After what felt like years, the trailer for the new season of #PumpRules finally dropped, and you can bet your ass I’m sucked the f*ck back in. 

Some highlights:

• Katie and Schwartz’s divorce

• Schwartz’s hookup with Raquel

• James Kennedy’s relationship with his new girlfriend, who expresses disapproval at his drinking habits

• (So… James Kennedy is off the wagon? Oy.)

• The tumultuous journey leading up to the opening of Schwartz & Sandy’s 

• ~Brock~ and Scheana become husband and wife in Cabo

• More Charli! 😍

I’m so into it, TBH. I know we can never truly relive the glory days of seasons one through three, but there finally seems to be genuine, organic drama among the original cast. We’ve watched them for a decade now—isn’t that insane?—and there’s a reason we’ve all stuck around this long! As frustrated as I’ve been at times over the past few seasons, I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you. I know it, you know it, Andy knows it.

Anyway. In related news, Jax and Kristen had different versions of events when it came to how they were treated by the camera crew at Scheana and Brock’s wedding. (Since, y’know, everyone was filming and they got fired.) According to Kristen on her podcast “Sex, Love, and What Else Matters,” she and Jax were “triggered” and uncomfortable by the presence of “Vanderpump Rules” cameras while they had to stay out-of-frame.

On the contrary, Jax said in an Instagram comment that he and Brittany were asked to film but “politely declined.”

So, who do we think is lying?!?!?!?! Lol. 

Hailey Bieber & the “Nepo Baby” Discourse’s Descent Into Disingenuousness

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The post claimed influencer Arielle Charnas’ husband Brandon was allegedly embezzling from his influencer wife’s clothing brand, Something Navy, that the two were getting a divorce after more than eight years of marriage, and an article from Business Insider dropping any day would be exposing it all. (If you need a primer on Arielle Charnas and Something Navy, listen to the recent episode of my podcast.) 

It only took about an hour for the story to snowball, and the speculation grew wildly: rumors of cheating, lovers, investigations, arrests, missing millions, and more. (Along with comments like “Is that why Brandon deleted all his posts and made his Instagram private? This must explain why Arielle’s been looking depressed and turned her TikTok comments off.”) 

When the article eventually did drop roughly 50-something hours after the initial Deux Moi post, people unsurprisingly said it was a letdown. The word “embezzle” wasn’t used once, there was hardly a mention of Brandon, and there was no implication around affairs, lovers, or divorce. (Which, I have to ask: Why the hell would people expect Business Insider—of all publications—to cover a cheating scandal?) 

So, let’s pretend that whirlwind 50-something-hour internet chaos never happened. Deux Moi never posted about it, and the Charnas camp never had to release statements shutting down rumors of embezzlement and divorce. 

Let’s go back and pretend we’re seeing this story with fresh eyes. 

If we do that, this article isn’t a letdown at all. In fact, it’s pretty damning. 

Reporter Katie Warren writes that Something Navy has owed suppliers hundreds of thousands of dollars for several months—even going so far as to ghost vendors asking for their money. Models (including child models) have yet to be paid as of publication. Freelancers have waited months for their payouts, and employee direct deposits have been several days late on at least one occasion. Of course, to rub salt in the wound: This is all while Charnas traipses around in $2,600 Hermès boots and $3,900 Khaite jackets and rents $150,000-a-month Hamptons properties. 

Did we read the same article? Because these tidbits are… incriminating. (This summary doesn’t do it justice though; if you haven’t already, read the article here.) 

People Want Their Money! 

One India-based supplier fumed when they saw Charnas’ lavish, Hamptons-based 35th birthday party on social media while he was still owed $363,000. He heard constant excuses, then received the silent treatment, then flew to New York to confront Something Navy’s CEO himself, Matthew Scanlan. They refer to the brand as “the Bernie Madoff of fashion.” 

Many of the payments were only paid off when BI started investigating! 

One 5-year-old child model has yet to be paid for shoots she did in early 2022.

According to the article, 22 employees have left Something Navy this year alone, including several that had been at the company since 2018. Many of them spoke to BI, with one saying, “Something Navy was a clusterf*ck. Like, bleeding. I’m just shocked it hasn’t tanked already.” The article claims that Arielle’s lavish lifestyle in contrast to the brand stiffing suppliers was “more than they could handle.” And after watching Something Navy miss payments for vendors, suppliers, models, freelancers, and beyond, employees began to realize they were probably next—which was only exacerbated by the late-paychecks incident.  

Leadership Seems… Questionable at Best

Employees were directed to pause their work for two weeks to help plan Arielle’s extravagant 35th birthday party. (Scanlan called it “a big moment for the brand,” as it had brand partners and sponsors. As most birthday parties do.)

She’s allegedly more likely to wear and promote her favorite brands (The Row, for example) than her own. According to former employees, she actually disliked promoting her own brand. Former employees claim that Charnas has become disengaged and “checked out” from the company over time, and is rarely seen at the office.

They’ve also compared CEO Matthew Scanlan to Adam Neumann, aka the disgraced founder of WeWork. (Lol.)

No one could talk to Arielle or Brandon about the company’s poor performance. If she asked about it, employees were instructed to tell her that everything was going great. When she was eventually informed of the struggles this past spring, she was “devastated.”

God Forbid People Think You Rent Your Handbags

According to the brand, the money from Charnas’ partnerships go to Something Navy while she receives a salary. Interestingly though, Charnas rarely wants to do partnership content, and dragged her feet regarding a Vivrelle (a rental bag company) partnership because she didn’t “want her followers to think she rents her handbags.”

Sales Have Done a Nosedive

Something Navy’s four retail locations apparently don’t turn a profit, and only sell a handful of pieces per week. While the brand was a hit at first—garnering $831,000 in net sales a week into its launch (not the $1,000,000 in 30 minutes the brand initially claimed, but I digress)—the frequent, churned-out launches made less and less money over time.

Oh: And the brand’s “restocking fee” when you make a return is $12.75!!!!?!?!

And, look: I know that this stuff is common for brands and startups, especially in this economy.

And I also understand Charnas is now a minority owner in Something Navy, and is likely extremely distanced from business operations.

BUT. This is her namesake (in the blog world, at least) brand; she is the founder of it, the face of it, and the inspiration behind it. Whether Charnas had any knowledge of the behind-the-scenes chaos—it’s likely she didn’t!—or not, it’s strange that she doesn’t want to put out a statement that, at the very least, absolves herself and misplaces the blame. (It would be easy for her to do so, as, again, she’s clearly very distanced from business operations.) 

Again, I’m not saying it’s her fault! At all!

But it still looks bad! And insensitive to not address it! And since the article dropped on December 8, Charnas is yet to acknowledge it. (And it’s fairly safe to say she won’t, ever.) It’s “business” as usual. 

Again, if you read the article through a lens of “I wasn’t expecting embezzlement or divorce to be mentioned here,” it’s a bombshell. It reflects poorly on those involved. 

If something you’re affiliated with is accused of shoddy business practices—like not paying 5-year-old models, or skimping out on suppliers who, in turn, can’t pay their employees, all while living a beyond-lavish lifestyle—wouldn’t you want to at least pretend you’re making it right? Pretend you care?

But maybe that’s just me. LMK. 

Read the article here.

Why Is the “Gossip Girl” Reboot So Terrible?

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When season 2 of “The White Lotus” was announced, I had my reservations. Of course, I was going to watch regardless—but season 1 was designated as a “miniseries” and its literal entire plot centered around a weeklong stay at a resort in Maui. How could season 2—complete with an entire new cast of characters we’d have to get to know, set in an entirely new location—even stack up?

Well, baby, not only does it “stack up”—it surpasses season 1. And it’s literally all I can think about. Thanks a lot, Mike White!

Although, of course, I’m a tad sad I can’t binge the entire season in one sitting, the weekly episode drops make sense. I’m left obsessing between every episode, predicting what will happen, salivating for more. (It has been proven that weekly episodes drop, naturally, promote the show more effectively via an insatiable audience tweeting and Redditing theories week after week. I like to call it “the ‘Yellowjackets’ effect.”) 

Thank God for Reddit. r/thewhitelotusHBO has been rife with theories and discussions. And with a show as rich with symbolism and quiet nuance as “The White Lotus,” I’m happy I have someone (aka, a subreddit with nearly 50,000 members) pointing them out to little ol’ me, aka someone with an untrained and unsophisticated eye who doesn’t pick up on things. 

Here are some things I missed in the episode that aired this past Sunday:

1. When Daphne is discussing her trainer with Harper and “mistakenly” shows her a picture of her children, she’s insinuating that the kids are the trainer’s—not Cameron’s. (Although the actress who plays Daphee, Meghann Fahy, has said show creator Mike White has never confirmed this and left the moment up to interpretation.) 

2. Quentin’s “straight cowboy” is none other than Tanya’s husband, Greg, and the two appear to be in cahoots. (Redditors point to the fact that Greg is the one who convinced Greg to go to Sicily, was there before her while leaving her messages unanswered, and, of course, was shadily saying “ILY” to someone on the phone while he was there.) 

3. Lucia’s “pimp” isn’t a pimp at all. He appears at the beginning of the season as a love interest or ex-boyfriend of Lucia’s, and Italian translations of the conversation Albie witnesses have no mention of money. It’s pretty clear—she said it herself, after all—that Albie is easy to manipulate and rich. Which, of course, leads the audience to believe she’s simply manipulating Albie for sympathy cash. 

4. Jack obviously isn’t Quentin’s actual nephew. (Okay, that one I figured out on my own.) 

5. In an earlier episode, Cameron references aristocrats who have no liquid wealth—just gorgeous palazzos. Was this foreshadowing regarding the high-end gays? 

What we can also infer so far is that Cam probably isn’t as wealthy as he’s led us to believe, per the fact that he’s avoiding paying Lucia and Mia the rest of what they’re owed. 

One more question mark: What exactly are Lucia’s intentions with Albie? Yes, she views him as easy to manipulate. But could she be genuinely interested in him, or does she possibly view him as her ticket to Hollywood? What if she ends up flying home with Albie, Dom, and Bert?!

In terms of predictions for the rest of the season, I asked my Instagram followers for their theories. Here are some of my faves:

1. “Coolidge will end up ‘dying for beauty.’”

2. “Albie is dead or will kill Alesso.”

3. “Quentin is going to end up killing Tanya or vice versa.”

4. “Rocco could lash out at Valentina.”

5. “Albie kills Alesso thinking he’s protecting Lucia and when he realizes he’s been duped he kills her too.”

6. “The ‘big event’ will include Mia, Lucia, and Cameron.”

7. “Leg in the water in the first episode looks female. I think it’s either Mia or Lucia.”

8. “Mia gets the pianist job and the old pianist kills her because he lost his job and was drugged.”

9. “Cameron and Harper are gonna bang.” (Agreed, and I do not blame her.)

For the record, I believe Tanya will live, and will continue to appear in future seasons. Also, Valentina appears in the first episode when they find her body (and reference other bodies): She will live also, but it’s still possible there’s something serious brewing in the hostile workplace she’s created.

Otherwise, I think any of these theories are fair game—and I can’t f*cking wait to watch it pan out. 

Side note: I wasn’t sure if Cameron had planted the condom wrapper on purpose in order to get Ethan in trouble, but based on his reaction in the vineyard, it appears to have actually been an accident, and he’s genuinely concerned about Harper finding out the details of their wild night.  

Another side note: Jack “forgetting his wallet” at the rice-ball place is supposed to give us insight into the fact that the high-end gays are definitely scammers, right?

A third side note: I loved learning what “mimetic desire” is via this episode. (“When someone with higher status wants something, it means it’s more likely that you want it too.”)

One last side note: I haven’t been able to get the words “tappy tappy tay…” out of my head since Mia’s rendition of “That’s Amoré.” I unfortunately can’t find it on Spotify. Please help if you have any leads.

This Affair Is Just What We Needed—Nay, Deserved—As a Country

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And anyone who says they wouldn’t leverage their famous parents’ names and connections in order to have a career that consists of simply walking onto movie sets and/or cover shoots, or posting a branded carousel on Instagram—often for hundreds of thousands of dollars at a time—is lying. I promise you wouldn’t be choosing, say, a career as a cardiologist if you could just be an automatically successful mactor instead. 

I truly can’t blame them! 

What I can blame them for, however, is the inability to acknowledge the whole born-on-third-base of it all. 

Now, joining a list of nepo babies who’ve recently (and historically AHEM Kendall Jenner) insisted they’ve actually, in fact, have had to work twice as hard as the average person—ie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Maude Apatow, and Kendall because it’s always f*cking Kendall—is none other than Lily-Rose Depp. 

From her November 18th interview feature in Elle Magazine:

Speaking of internet opinions, has she heard about the whole “nepo baby” conversation? She laughs dryly: “I’m familiar.” Depp sounds resigned to it, which is maybe all one can be in her situation. “The internet seems to care a lot about that kind of stuff. People are going to have preconceived ideas about you or how you got there, and I can definitely say that nothing is going to get you the part except for being right for the part,” she says. “The internet cares a lot more about who your family is than the people who are casting you in things. Maybe you get your foot in the door, but you still just have your foot in the door. There’s a lot of work that comes after that.”

But here’s the kicker!

“It’s weird to me to reduce somebody to the idea that they’re only there because it’s a generational thing. It just doesn’t make any sense. If somebody’s mom or dad is a doctor, and then the kid becomes a doctor, you’re not going to be like, ‘Well, you’re only a doctor because your parent is a doctor.’ It’s like, ‘No, I went to medical school and trained.’ ”

BITCHSKFDKSJFLSJ

She insists she’s not comparing herself to those in the medical field, and makes it seem like some… feminist platitude?:

Ever careful, she’s quick to add that she is by no means comparing her own work to that of someone in the medical field. “I just hear it a lot more about women, and I don’t think that it’s a coincidence.”

Oy vey!

Here’s the thing: It shouldn’t be that hard to realize—and subsequently admit—that you’ve had it much, much easier than the average nobody Midwesterner with zero connections to anything other than a bomb-ass dentistry in Cincinnati that you should definitely go to. It demonstrates a tangible ignorance, a complete lack of awareness surrounding the everyday realities of the majority of the population whose relatives aren’t some of the most famous actors on the planet. 

Unsurprisingly, she got flamed on Twitter. 

But those that have flamed her the most are her peers in the modeling industry. 

Model Vittoria Ceretti was the first big name to speak out against Depp’s comments.

“Just want to share a thought here because I can. I bumped into an interview of a so-called ‘nepo baby,’ whatever y’all call it… Yes, I get the whole ‘I’m here and I work hard for it,’ but I would really love to see if you would have lasted thru the first five years of my career. Not only being rejected, because I know you have an experience with it and you can tell me your sad little story about it (even if at the end of the day you can still always go cry on your dad’s couch in your villa in Malibu).

But how about not being able to pay for your flight back home to your family? Waiting hours to do a fitting/casting just to see a nepo baby walk past you, from the warm seat of her/his Mercedes with her/his driver and her/his friend/assistant/agent taking care of her/his MENTAL HEALTH??? You have no f-cking idea how much you have to fight to make people respect you. TAKES YEARS. You just get it free by day one.

I have many nepo friends whom I respect, but I can’t stand listening to you compare yourself to me. I was not born on a comfy sexy pillow with a view. I know it’s not your fault, but please, appreciate and know the place you come from.”

Then, model Anok Yai did, too. 

“I will see some of you privileged kids stress about not booking a job because of the impact on your career while there are those of us who stress about not booking a job because we don't know if we'll be able to take care of our parents this month or put our siblings through school I am proud to say that I've fought for every ounce of respect or acknowledgment that I have. Seeing people benefit from nepotism doesn't bother me at all—I know my talent, and work ethic will get me into any room I want. What does bother me is when power players in the industry (brands, directors, editors etc) pretend to act ignorant to the fact. And to the privileged, I am not saying that having privilege is a bad thing—it's a blessing, more power to you. And I know you work hard and have your struggles just like the rest of us. But goddamn if you only knew the hell we go through just to be able to stand in the same room that you were born in.”

Next was model Nyagua Ruea.

“We’ve all had to watch a nepo/white model walk into a casting/fitting you’ve been at for HOURS with their bodyguard/assistant etc… and be in and out of that room in 30 minutes when you’ve been there for hours.”

Aweng Chuol:

“Refugee background, first generation this and that. [Parents] running from war. Working ten times as hard to get in the same room. Then the turmoil of [survivor’s] guilt, and savior complex to get your family out of the ruthless cycle of poverty. I always say this, gratitude is a must. We don’t get to choose to have a cushioned background or not, but for a second—realize your experience.”

Akon Changkou:

 And more:

 And more:

 And more:

Future fashion weeks just got a whole lot more awkward for Miss Depp!

The consensus, again, seems to be that being a nepo baby is not inherently a bad or wrong thing! You cannot help who you’re born to! But just f*cking acknowledge how objectively easy you’ve had it compared to so many that have been far, far, far less fortunate than you in every single arena of life.

Or don’t, and have every last peer in your industry eviscerate you on social media with biting black-and-white statements. 

If you’re wondering what the correct way for a nepo baby to acknowledge their privilege is, let’s look to Jamie Lee Curtis. 

I Hate This Part of the Pete Davidson Cycle

Very thrilling and completely shocking news: Emily Ratajkowski and Pete Davidson are dating!

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Earlier this month, owner of New York City’s Balthazar restaurant, Keith McNally, had shared that he’d banned “tiny cretin of a man” James Corden from his restaurant. (The official term is “86-ing” someone, which is EXTREMELY rare, BTW!!!)

Here’s what he wrote: 

Allegedly, after finding a hair in his food, Corden threatened to “write nasty Yelp reviews” unless his drinks were all comped. On another instance, a bit of egg white had made its way into his wife’s “egg yolk omelet”—whatever the F*CK that is—which, apparently, was completely unacceptable to Corden. He took it out on the wait staff.

As we all know—or, should know—by now, someone who treats wait staff poorly is showing their true colors. The scum of the earth, TBH.

Anyway: The story erupted on Twitter, and more and more stories of Corden’s abusive behavior began to resurface. 

(The plane incident is my favorite. I can’t remember where I read it originally several months ago—either Reddit or Deux Moi—but it has not left my mind. The way he lets his wife not only deal with the baby herself the entire flight, but fully retrieve the baggage from the overhead compartment, too. Just… imagine being that much of a repellent, irredeemable piece of sh*t. To your own WIFE!)

The scandal officially enter PR-sh*tstorm levels, and of course, Corden had no choice but to reach out to McNally to apologize and “un-ban” him. Too little, too late, you tiny cretin of a man.

He then went on to downplay the incident in an interview with The New York Times, which only made himself look worse. If that were even possible.

“I haven’t done anything wrong, on any level. I was there. I get it. I feel so zen about the whole thing. Because I think it’s so silly. I just think it’s beneath all of us. It’s beneath you,” he told the interviewer.

McNally had a biting response.

“I’ve no wish to kick a man when he’s down. Especially one who’s worth $100 Million, but when James Corden said in yesterday’s NY Times that he hadn’t done “anything wrong, on any level,” was he joking? Or was he denying being abusive to my servers? Whatever Corden meant, his implication was clear: he didn’t do it. Although I didn’t witness the incident, lots of my restaurant’s floor staff did. They had nothing to gain by lying. Corden did. I wish James Corden would live up to his Almighty initials and come clean. If the supremely talented actor wants to retrieve the respect he had from all his fans (all 4 of them) before this incident, then he should at least admit he did wrong. If he goes one step further and apologizes to the 2 servers he insulted, I’ll let him eat for free at Balthazar for the next 10 years.”

He ate him up and left no crumbs (or egg whites)!

It certainly feels like we’re watching an Ellen Degeneres-level downfall—another affable-seeming TV host who’s spent years preaching about “kindness” while acting as a monster behind the scenes to “lesser-thans”—and I, for one, couldn’t be more thrilled about it. Again, if you pay attention to celebrity gossip and blind items, you’ve known about this behavior for awhile. It’s a pattern.  

There once was a time celebrities could treat regular folk however they wanted. But with the emergence of social media and “tea” accounts, those days appear to be over. Treat someone like sh*t, and the world will find out one way or another. (That’s why when I hear a celebrity is “ultra-kind” now, I contemplate whether it’s genuine or they just know the interaction will end up on Deux Moi. And whether you love Deux Moi or hate it, you can’t argue it’s likely made celebrities start behaving better.)

Now, with Corden’s show set to end soon—good f*cking riddance—we can only hope we crawls back into his tiny cretin nest. (Apparently, the UK doesn’t want him either, though. Ugh.)

Banning him from restaurants isn’t enough! We need deportation!

Release “The Kardashians” Hulu Ratings, You Cowards

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Although I had not a clue what a “Try Guy” was a month ago, I now know literally everything there is to know about Keith, Zach, Eugene (my favorite!) and… Ned. 

To recap: The Try Guys are, I suppose, a “vlog squad” for the millennial set. Former Buzzfeed employees who eventually left to start their own successful company, the (once) foursome consists of Keith Habersberger, Zach Kornfeld, Eugene Lee Yang, and—the ex-Try Guy at the center of the drama, RIP—Ned Fulmer “trying” things and doing goofy, random stuff on camera. (That’s my official summary of what they do. That’s all I’ve got.)

Under their “Second Try” media company, they employ roughly a dozen people, and even had their significant others—know as the “Try Wives—involved in much of their content. This includes Ned’s wife, Ariel.

Every guy has his shtick—for instance, Keith likes to eat copious amounts of food, Eugene is generally fabulous—and Ned’s was always, “wife guy.” Much of their content revolved around a running joke that Ned was obsessed with pointing at his wedding ring and talking about his wife (with whom he shares two children, FWIW).

@nedfulmerI’m a Barbie, girl. Get the #CollectABoys while supplies last, link in bio. Pre-order ends 6-13

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That’s what made this scandal so especially shocking for longtime fans of the foursome. 

On Labor Day weekend, videos started to circulate of Ned and a subordinate employee making out at “Niagara” in New York City. (A club I used to frequent myself, actually. Nothing good happens there, I promise.) Then, the DMs. The videographer who captured this… event promptly reached out to the significant others—Ariel and the fiancé of this employee in question—and, according to Keith and Zach on their latest podcast episode, the rest of the Try Guys were alerted thereafter. 

Things were quiet for a few weeks while The Guys scrambled to do an internal review alongside lawyers and Human Resources experts. That is, until fans began to notice Ned suddenly getting edited out of videos. And then… the screenshots leaked.

That’s when everything blew up. Big time. And now I’m forced to think and talk about these men more than I ever thought was possible. 

The Try Guys quickly cut ties with Ned, releasing a short, curt, and—frankly—ice-cold!—statement.

Ned and Ariel then released statements of their own. (Keith and Zach have clarified that their team had nothing to do with these statements, even though they “copied their font.”) TMZ tracked the couple down, who appeared smiley while donning their rings.

The internet has since praised the rapid response of the Try Guys, and have come together to express support for Ariel—again, someone fans have come to watch, enjoy, and listen to (primarily on the podcast she hosts with fellow Try Wives, “You Can Sit With Us”) over the past few years. 

More “tea” began to leak that Ned and his employee have, in fact, been having an affair for quite some time, only leading more people to come to the conclusion that Ned is trash. 

For the record: On their podcast, Keith and Zach confirmed they had no idea any of this was happening until they were contacted after Labor Day Weekend, and that one of their fears was that people would think they were complicit. As far as I can tell, they definitely weren’t. 

If you had no idea any of this happened, great! I’m glad I could provide a little recap. But if you have kept up with this drama—hello, fellow chronically online person—I have a point to make. I promise.

Here’s my point: This became a massive scandal not just because some dude cheated on his wife. But because some dude abused his position of power to sleep with a subordinate employee. That is bad. That is illegal. And he blew up his entire career, friend group, and marriage in the process. Not to mention: THIS IS A WIFE GUY! (Of course, many people have drawn parallels to famous-wife-guy-turned-adulterer John Mulaney.) 

I’ve seen many tweets telling people to remember that “engaged-woman-who-partook-in-affair is bad, too! Don’t forget to BULLY her also!”

…CAN WE NOT?! Can we remember that power dynamics exist, and this was her boss?

“She had three other bosses she could’ve gone to if she was uncomfortable!” I’d like to see how you fare in her position. Except, I definitely don’t wish that on anyone.

And, look: I understand that a full-grown adult woman has free agency and willpower and could’ve happily consented to this. But the definition of “consent” in a boss-employee dynamic is inherently blurred. 

Also, I’m sick of seeing takes like this, too:

Please see this TikTok:

@ismatu.gwendolyn#greenscreen The Try Guy relfections from a therapist bc people love going viral for being fcking rude.

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Again, I was never a Try Guys fan before. I still wouldn’t consider myself a “fan” because, again, videos of guys doing goofy stuff isn’t exactly my jam. But I 100 percent respect the fact that this situation is totally f*cked for everyone involved, and I truly feel for them. 

Did Trevor Noah Get Canned? I’m Going With… Yes 

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Now, let’s get into it.

The future should be bright for Brooklyn Beckham. As the son of superstar Brits David and Victoria, he’s essentially royalty, and certainly looks the part over Sausage Fingers Charles.  

So, what happened? The path to stardom should’ve been so, so simple. 

But… nothing he does seems to hit. 

He tried out the whole soccer player footballer thing. Following in his father’s footsteps. Understandable. It didn’t work out. 

At one point, he took a stab at modeling. 

There was the widely mocked “photography” book. (Attaching his iconic elephant shot below for posterity.)

There’s his (current) pivot to wanting to start an empire as a chef. “I would love to have my own pub. I would love to have my own sauces, knives, pots and pans,” he told Variety. “I want to have so many TV shows, and hopefully one day open up a pub in L.A.”

Earlier this year, he married daughter of billionaire investor Nelson Peltz, Nicola, and received a spread of his wedding in Vogue. 

He, of course, proudly posited that the two deserve a reality show. “I’ve always said to my wife, we should actually do a reality TV show, because she’s so funny, and we take the piss out of each other all the time. She sometimes doesn’t get my English humour.” (British spelling is intentional.)

They announced they were hyphenating their names into the “Peltz-Beckhams,” because he “just thought it was different. Not many guys take their wives' names. So, I was just like, 'Why not?' It fit really cool together."

That’s so deep. 

Somehow, Brooklyn landed one of the covers of Variety’s “Power of Young Hollywood” issue. The problem is… no one knows exactly what he does. 

As Guardian writer Marina Hyde brilliantly put it in her article titled “Brooklyn Beckham’s Ever-Evolving Career Path Is a Balm In Our Dark Times”: “I have hugely enjoyed every single one of the high-profile professions thus far embraced by Brooklyn, 23—footballer, art photographer, published monograph author, model, and now chef. Is there nothing he can do?”

Of course, it doesn’t help his case that his wife, Nicola, appears to not have a stellar reputation for her part. Rumors have swirled for years that she may or may not have pushed her former nanny down the stairs. (For the record, the family of her late nanny has denied these claims.) 

Nicola—like her husband—has tried on the whole “career” thing, too. (You gotta hand it to them: At least they’re not complacent living quietly among their billions without bothering any of us!) Her father—again, a billionaire investor—has, more than likely, had a hand in getting her bit parts in films like The Last Airbender and Transformers: Age of Extinction. 

I can’t particularly explain exactly why I’m fascinated by these two, but I think part of it is undoubtedly because their paths to success should’ve been so simple. Famous parents. Mega-wealthy. Conventionally attractive. What more could you possibly need?!

And, yet… no one seems to care. In fact, most people seem to have a visceral reaction to news surrounding the two. 

Stories have recently been hitting the press regarding the fact that Nicola and Brooklyn’s mom, Posh Spice Victoria, allegedly have beef. (This has been no secret since the twosome’s wedding, with plenty of rumors swirling that Victoria and Nicola do not get on.) Whether it’s the Peltz-Beckham camp leaking these stories or someone close to them, there seems to be a different news bit making the rounds about them every single week. 

But, again, no one seems to care. 

No matter how many millions their families might be paying the press in an attempt to make them happen, they’re simply not happening. And probably won’t, at this point.

Again, most nepotism kids do have it easy. But the failure to launch the Peltz-Beckhams proves that even the most wealthy, connected, and attractive celebrity kids need to have at least some… je ne sais quoi. At least a smidge of discernible talent, passion, or charm. Nicola and Brooklyn seem to be famous for wanting fame. And that’s it. But fans beget fame, and what are we supposed to be fans of when it comes to these two?

“The Bachelor” Franchise Has Failed Its Viewers—For the Umpteenth Time

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Even if you don’t watch the show, there’s a fascinating backstory to the drama at the center of this episode: Tom Girardi’s web of lies. A web of lies that entails embezzling millions of dollars of settlement money from his law firm, siphoning off funds that were meant to go to victims of gas-leak explosions and plane crashes (aka, his own clients) in order to fund his lavish lifestyle, and much, much more. 

Tom was, of course, married to housewife Erika Jayne (née Chahoy), who filed for divorce shortly before the news of his fraud hit the media in late 2020. This, in turn, led to speculation that the two were trying to conceal assets before being hit with a tsunami of lawsuits. 

In any case, I find the discourse surrounding “whether or not Erika knew” to be exhausting and fruitless. To me, it doesn’t really matter at this point. As I said on Twitter this week, it matters that she knows now. And her behavior says so, so much about who she is as a human being. 

Backing up a bit: To many viewers’ disappointment, we didn’t get many answers last season. Erika hissed and snarled at anyone who dared to question her, and Andy Cohen failed to ask anything truly hard-hitting at the reunion. (Remember when he said he was going to “put her on a skewer and fire up the barbecue”? What happened to that?!)

On this week’s episode, however, Erika showed her entire ass, and it was—without question—the best and most revealing episode of this season so far. 

Major credit to the ABC News documentary that centers on the Girardi scandal, released last year and titled “The Housewife & The Hustler.” It gave faces to the victims, told their stories in heartbreaking and humanizing fashion, and provided much-needed context to viewers like myself. I highly recommend watching it if you haven’t already. (It’s streaming on Hulu.)

It seems like some of Erika’s costars may have finally watched it, too.

In this week’s episode, Erika is questioned about a pair of $750,000 earrings she procured during her marriage to Tom—allegedly with misappropriated funds, of course. (This summer, a judge did, in fact, order for her to hand them over, as they had, in fact, been purchased with money that was transferred directly from a client’s trust account.) Needless to say, Tom’s victims and their legal representation have the right to recoup their stolen settlement money however they can. (One of the victims, in particular, requires around-the-clock medical care and skin grafts for third-degree burns due to that previously mentioned gas-leak explosion. He was featured on “The Housewife & The Hustler,” and, as of filming, had never received a dime of the nearly $11 million he was owed after being represented by Tom.) 

Erika and Tom had gone on lavish spending sprees with money that wasn’t rightfully theirs. Some of it is gone forever—what was spent on Erika’s failed music career, for example, as well as the millions it takes to maintain the multiple private jets the couple owned at one point—and some of it is, clearly, still sitting in Erika’s closet.

To viewers’ shock and horror, Erika insisted that it wasn’t her duty to give up her $750,000 earrings to try to make the victims whole. (“They aren’t my victims.”) In fact, she outright said that she “doesn’t give a f*ck about anyone else but [herself].” She explained that she would only give back to the victims if she was ordered to in a court of law. She also alluded to the idea—for the second time this season!—that Tom’s victims may be lying. (“Alleged victims,” she shrieked.) 

And that says everything. Erika has zero interest in helping make things right with those whose stolen settlements funded her extravagant lifestyle for years, if not decades. Erika only cares about Erika, and has deluded herself into thinking her castmates should feel the same. She is the real victim, dontcha know? 

I’m certain there’s a way she could’ve handled this that would have gained her sympathy from viewers. But it starts with sympathy for the victims. And in Erika’s mind, no one has suffered more than her—can you even imagine living in a $8,000-a-month bungalow (plus pool!) instead of a sprawling 10,000 square-foot Bel Air mansion complete with a custom chapel?

Anyone with a soul would realize that burn victims and widows and orphans left behind by a devastating plane crash—who were victimized again by Tom when he manipulated them into letting him represent them before ransacking every cent they were owed in a court of law—deserve their money more than Erika needs $750,000 earrings. But Erika seems to be seriously lacking in the “soul” department.

Props to my queens Crystal Kung Minkoff, Garcelle Beauvais, and Sutton Stracke for being on the right side of history.

On the contrary, her minions Lisa Rinna and Diana Jenkins ultimately ushered her out of the room before she could make herself look even worse. (Garcelle voice: “I don’t need to make you look bad, Erika…”) It was clear she was operating on a combination of alcohol and… something else. (Potentially downers.) The word vomit was spilling. True colors were on display. And they weren’t pretty.

It’s safe to say the lawyers and prosecutors working the case had a field day with this episode. What an ugly mess.

A Komplete List of Mind-Boggling Kardashian Ventures That Were Announced This Week And Have Me Scratching My Head In Confusion

Something must be brewing in the Kardashian kamp, because there’s zero reason for this many new projects to be announced in one week. Is there about to be some bad press they’re trying to get ahead of? A show kancellation, perhaps?

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He’s not exactly relevant at the moment—his stint on “The Bachelorette” was over a year ago, but rumors have recently been swirling that he could be named the next lead. And I’m going to break down why that’s a terrible idea (and more than likely not happening).  

If you’re a “Grippo girl” reading this, well, buckle up. (And also… grow up!) 

Some context, if you’re confused so far: Greg Grippo was a contestant on Katie Thurston’s season of “The Bachelorette”—and arguably her number-one frontrunner. That is, until he had genuinely one of the most dramatic—and divisive—exits in franchise history. (Katie ultimately ended up choosing Blake Moynes, although the two split shortly after their engagement.)

Let’s back up a bit. 

It was clear to anyone watching Katie’s season—as well as Greg himself, most likely—that he was Katie’s “F1,” or first choice, throughout the season. He was the recipient of her “first impression rose” on night one—which, historically when it comes to seasons of “The Bachelorette,” means you definitely are F1. (Just look at this list of first impression rose recipients over the years: Nayte Olukoya, Michelle Young’s future fiancé; Dale Moss on Clare Crawley’s short-lived season; Garrett Yrigoyen on Becca Kufrin’s season; Bryan Abasolo on Rachel Lindsay’s season, who just celebrated their third wedding anniversary; Jordan Rodgers on Jojo Fletcher’s season—who just tied the knot after six years together; and Shawn Booth on Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season. If you pay attention to Bachelor couples, you understand the significance of these couplings.) He also was the only contestant to receive two one-on-one dates. (His facial expression upon receiving the second was… telling.)

Eventually, it was down to the final three men. Greg confessed his feelings for Katie, saying he was surprised to realize that he had fallen in love with her and was the happiest he’s ever been.

Until… she didn’t give him the exact answer he wanted, although she’d clearly given him plenty of reassurance throughout the season.

At that point, a switch appeared to flip for Greg. As Katie cried and begged at his feet, he angrily told her he “deserved better,” and stormed off and out of her life. 

Immediately, I—and many others on the internet—clocked this as textbook gaslighting. Alarm bells were going off. He was making her question reality and doubt her own sanity. If he was “genuinely in love and could see forever with her,” why would that suddenly change SO quickly? Why—if he genuinely, truly loved her—would he leave her crying and begging on her knees for him to stay? 

Because—as far as I’m concerned—he didn’t. He was simply looking for an “out.” He was pretending. Acting, if you will. (He did, in fact, attend William Esper acting school prior to the season. He also tried out for two prior seasons of “The Bachelorette,” and had clearly been gunning for “stardom” for quite some time.)

Still, to this day, you’ll find “Grippo girls” fawning over him, insisting he was a sweet, innocent baby who got his heart broken by the Evil Bachelorette. Some even claim he’s “too genuine” to even say “yes” if he was offered the role of the Bachelor. “He just wants real love, not fame or attention!” They’ll scream into the void.

Oh, please. F*cking spare me. Just look at his Instagram, for God’s sake.

Here’s the worst part: When the internet was exploding with hot takes during this saga—some survivors of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse recognizing the signs while others, again, insisted Greg Grippo is the most genuine, sweet angel to ever appear on the show—skeletons in his closet began to pour out. Even a domestic violence shelter for women spoke out against his behavior. Those “Grippo girls” have decidedly ignored them. Here are some of those skeletons in particular, which you can choose to believe or not: 

I can confirm I’ve directly spoken to women from his past, who corroborated their dark experiences with him. I also have spoken with production, who confirmed they were warned about his behavior by people who know him personally. I have proof of these conversations. Choosing to platform him further would be nothing short of negligence.

Again: You can choose to believe this or not. DeuxMoi posts are all alleged. I know what I know and will say what I can say without getting sued. 

Either way, you know how the old saying goes: Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And there’s a lot of smoke. 

One thing about sh*tty men is that they tend to have the uncanny ability to convince the world they’re gentle, sweet, and harmless. They’re often good-looking, which adds to the charm. So, it’s not surprising that Greg has an entire fanbase—I do not want to use the term Grippo girls again, this is the last time—while triggering an entirely different sect of viewers who recognize this type of person from experience.

Again: He’s polarizing.

And, FWIW, “Bachelorette” ratings have been down bad. Mike Fleiss’s floundering franchise is a sinking ship. If they wanted to truly torpedo it, then Greg would be a great voice. But platforming a man as controversial as him—regardless of his niche, ardent fanbase—would be a death wish for one of ABC’s biggest moneymakers. 

In 2022—during the heyday of #BachelorNation social media stardom, podcast deals, and sponsorships—it’s probably difficult to find truly genuine people that are actually looking for love. I get that. But it shouldn’t be difficult to find someone who doesn’t have a checkered past that includes women sounding the alarm about him—and in one instance, emotionally tormenting one in front of the entire world on national television, making her seem like a crazy person in the process. That’s what they do best, after all. 

As One Jax Taylor Fades Away, a New One “Rises”

Let’s talk about the husband Shep.

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Let me explain. 

Generally, I take issue with plenty of people on the internet who claim to be “dating experts” doling out presumptuous, half-baked, and uneducated advice to the masses. I’m not saying you have to be in a healthy, committed, long-term relationship in order to be an authority on the matter—but when your dating life is a constantly chaotic spectacle akin to a car crash, I’m wont to believe you’re in no place to be telling impressionable young people how to be successful in an already tenuous dating climate. It makes sense why most of the advice is downright laughable. 

For instance—and this isn’t exclusive to Nick—the advice, “If he wanted to, he would!” has always rubbed me the wrong way. I’ve talked about this at length, on Twitter, my appearance on the podcast “We Met At Acme,” and elsewhere. Back when I was single and stressing over New York City f*ckboys—as one does—I asked my therapist about this phrase. She immediately denounced it, and explained why it’s a toxic way of thinking. 

“How many times have you done something you didn’t want to do? Or didn’t do something you wanted to do? When you say, ‘if he wanted to, he would,’ you’re assuming the man in question is in a very particular headspace, one in which he can easily make clear-headed, decisive choices and actions.” And… she’s right! We never expect this sort of decisiveness from ourselves. Just from our love interests. Why do we always put them—ie, men, typically—on a pedestal, assuming they’ll always make the right decision? In reality, you have no idea what’s going on in their heads (and it could be the same anxieties and insecurities you’re going through, too). 

I used to take that advice and internalize it. I’d let it feed my self-loathing. “If he wanted to, he would. And he’s not. So he doesn’t want me. I’m unwantable.” I would often make the decision to reach out first to show my interest. (GASP!!!! The dating experts on TikTok would hate me for that.) It turns out, I was wantable. And I never would’ve known it had I listened to the loudmouths on the internet, feeding womens’ insecurities while failing to look in the mirror at the perpetually single person looking back at them. (Looking at you, “dating influencers” who I won’t name at the moment.)

Back to Nick Viall: I find him generally infuriating, his attitude pompous, his “advice” useless, and his podcast unlistenable. This TikTok from a few months back, however, sent me over the edge. 

He’s essentially insinuating that every woman is a dumb, helpless idiot for thinking a man’s manipulative or love-bomby behavior would be indicative of genuine feelings. He’s not denouncing the men, of course—in this case, ones that may take you on a whole ass vacation or share their toothbrush with you. (Ew.) It’s just: “Women are f*cking dumbasses, let’s point and laugh at them!” 

Now, he’s writing a book of dating advice titled, “Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday.” In a recent New York Times interview—essentially a paid-for, PR puff piece written by someone that may or may not also despise him—it’s referred to as a modern-day version of the famously misogynistic “He’s Just Not That Into You.” I would’ve been perfectly fine leaving that book (and the 41%-on-Rotten-Tomatoes movie it spawned) in the early-aughts. What did we do to deserve this? (In the same interview, Nick says he’s been compared to Ryan Reynolds many, many times—SURE, JAN!!!—and even sh*t talks Kelly Ripa by saying, “Last time I was on [Live With Ryan & Kelly], she just was pretty harsh. She wasn’t, like, terrible. She just wasn’t as warm as she would be, say, with Ryan Reynolds.”) 

Well, of course, you’re not getting the Ryan Reynolds treatment, Nick.

And what’s also funny is that… Nick isn’t one to talk. At all. Why is he writing a dating-advice book? Why does he make dating-advice TikToks? Why does he host a dating-advice podcast? 

The point is: There’s not a single person on earth less qualified than him to give dating advice. 

And although he may have a “serious, successful” relationship now, it’s with someone 18 years his junior: a 23-year-old Insta model named Natalie Joy. (As a reminder: Nick is 41.) 

Here’s a brief breakdown of his stints on The Bachelor franchise if you’re not familiar with him. (And if that’s the case, I’m envious of you.) 

• Nick made his debut on Andi Dorfman’s season of The Bachelorette, where he ultimately placed runner-up after making it to the final two. On that season’s “After the Final Rose,” he asked Andi why she would “make love to him” if she didn’t want to marry him in the end. The backlash was swift, and deserved. 

• He showed up in the middle of Kaitlyn Bristowe’s subsequent season of The Bachelorette. Slept with her before fantasy suites, which was a scandal at the time. Once again, placed runner-up. 

• Had a good, likable stint on Bachelor In Paradise, on which he seemed to have a good relationship with fellow castoff Jen Saviano (one that may or may not have preceded the beach). He ultimately decided to not propose or pursue her after the show. It’s been speculated that he was promised the position of The Bachelor by producers if he remained single.

• Became the chunky turtleneck-donning lead on his season The Bachelor. Was more hatable and insufferable than ever. Ultimately proposed to Vanessa Grimaldi. They called off their engagement just six months after the finale aired. 

It’s not a great track record. Why are we listening to him? Actually, not we, because I know that doesn’t include myself. But clearly, people are listening to him. And who the hell are these people?

It was also revealed that after Chris Harrison’s termination from his longtime post as Bachelor host—and before Jesse Palmer was named his successor—Nick Viall pitched himself to fill the role. Unsuccessfully. In the process, he trash-talked Palmer on his podcast, and said that he (aka, Nick) is uniquely qualified to host the show in a way no one else is. My eyes can’t physically role back farther in my head.

Obviously, he didn’t get the gig, and from everything I’ve gathered, Palmer appears to be doing a stellar job. 

Nick and his girlfriend Natalie continue to frolic around Coachella and other influencer events, antagonize other people in Bachelor nation like ex-Bachelorette Katie Thurston, and generally be as unlikable and pretentious as possible. “I used to sell software… hahahaha” he captioned a reel of himself and his child bride Natalie at an Oscars after-party earlier this year. 

I wish you would go back to software sales, Nick, because you’re really, really terrible at whatever it is you claim to be doing now. 

How I Saw the Kete Breakup Coming

If you thought I was annoying before: I accurately predicted the breakup of Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson roughly 24 hours before it was announced, and, no, I’m still not shutting up about it.

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First, she got quite the internet lashing for posting herself posing with Travis Scott in front of their private jets with the caption, “mine or yours?” while simultaneously getting exposed for hopping on hers for flights as short as 17 minutes (by Twitter tracking account @CelebJets). She was quickly dubbed a climate criminal Klimate Kriminal, and I’m not even going to get into the fact that it appears she’s desperately trying to help rehab Scott’s image after the Astroworld tragedy of 2021. (Stop trying to make “family man Travis Scott” happen. It’s not going to happen.) 

As it turns out, Jenner’s not even in the top 10 of biggest celebrity climate criminals: Those titles belong to Taylor Swift, Floyd Mayweather, Jay Z, Alex Rodriguez, Blake Shelton, Steven Spielberg, her sister Kim Kardashian, Mark Wahlberg, Oprah, and her mans Travis Scott, respectively. Swift, in particular, has allegedly racked up 170 flights on her private jet since January, and at least 8,293 tons of carbon emissions. (For comparison’s sake: The average carbon footprint per person is around 7 tons per year.) 

While Swift surely deserves backlash for this, Kylie’s set herself up for failure by flaunting her wealth and fleet of aircrafts far more explicitly than anyone else on this list. We know the Kardashian-Jenner klan thrive on negative PR—and social-media voyeurism surrounding their ultra-lavish lifestyles—but how do they plan to market their businesses when they’ve made themselves so utterly detestable, especially during a time of unprecedented social strife and economic distress?

Personally, I think the proof is in the pudding. This week, the Keeping Up With the Kardashians subreddit (r/KUWTK) dug up documents proving that Jenner’s swim brand that launched in 2021, Kylie Swim, is no more. The trademark is “dead in the water,” and the brand hasn’t posted on Instagram since June 1. 

Anyone who paid attention to the brand’s original launch could’ve potentially seen this coming. TikTok was rife with bad reviews, including complaints about cheap, flimsy material, see-through fabric, and silhouettes designed exclusively for labia-less Barbie dolls. While some predicted the poorly reviewed launch was all a ~brilliant~ marketing ploy from the sick and twisted mind of Kris Jenner—designed to drum up press—it didn’t work. At all. The brand was poorly thought out, poorly executed, and, now, is a certified failure. 

I think it also speaks to the fact that Jenner clearly doesn’t have the chokehold on the fashion and beauty space that she once did. Everyone remembers when Kylie Cosmetics first launched during Jenner’s peak “King Kylie” era, and the brand’s signature “lip kits” sold out in minutes, over and over again. Again, the products didn’t receive rave reviews: Jenner’s hype and ubiquity at the time may have drawn consumers into the product, but the quality didn’t encourage them to come back for more. Now, you can stock up on their products whenever you want… but it doesn’t seem many people want to.

A recent PR email I received declared Kylie Cosmetics “the most popular celebrity beauty brand”—solely based on followers and press mentions alone. And followers don’t always equate to sales.

While I have no numbers to prove this, I think it’s safe to assume that Kylie Skin and Kylie Baby, similarly, are struggling to find their footing among women who prefer quality over branding for things they slather on themselves (and their babies). If the quality of Kylie Cosmetics and Kylie Swim has appeared to be shoddy, why would anyone trust Jenner’s other products to be any different? Korners have klearly been kut across the board. 

Again: Thriving on negative press has worked for the family in the past, but not when they’re trying to sell products to the masses—specifically during an almost-recession, and especially when said products are very clearly lacking in quality. The private jet fiasco is just another chapter in a long line of Kardashian kontroversies that, frankly, turn people off from further lining the family’s shoe-pant pockets. 

Kylie’s flailing brands prove that the Kardashian-Jenner name not only no longer has selling power, but may actually be a deterrent to consumers. And understandably so. 

…And That Brings Me to SKKN By Kim

The buzz around Kim Kardashian’s overpriced skincare line, SKKN, has all but died out—and now, it appears undeniable that the launch isn’t hitting like it may have had it launched a few years ago.

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It was “debunked.” 

BUT!!!!!

It’s since been revealed that Hammer is, in fact, working a day job in the Cayman Islands’ tourism industry, not as a hotel concierge—but as a timeshare salesman.

As if timeshares aren’t predatory enough.

In case you need a refresher, Hammer had a spectacular fall from mediocre acting in supporting roles “grace” in January 2021 when multiple women came forward with stories of his abuse—and claims of a disturbing cannibalism fetish—on Hammer’s part. Photos were released of bruising and neck injuries. Texts were leaked indicating that Hammer “wanted to see [her] brain, bloods, organs” and that he was turned on by a Black Lives Matter protest. Shortly after the story broke, I interviewed one of Hammer’s victims, influencer Paige Lorenze, who said Hammer carved an “A” into her pelvic region with a knife, and apparently earnestly told her he wanted to hook her up with a plastic surgeon who could remove one of her ribs so Hammer could throw it on the grill. (Yes, really.) 

Hammer denied the allegations and no charges have been filed, but since then, he’s been hiding out on the Cayman Islands and reportedly entered rehabilitation, staying as far away from Hollywood as possible, until recently. (One of his most recent film roles, in Death on the Nile, was filmed before the scandal, and Hammer was nearly entirely scrubbed from the promotional materials upon its release.) 

This week, Robert Downey Jr. came out to say he actually paid for Hammer’s six month-long rehab stint at the Guest House, a Florida-based facility, to work through “past trauma” and a substance abuse problem. He recently left the Caymans to reportedly stay at one of Downey’s properties in Los Angeles, and Downey says he’s also providing financial assistance until Hammer is “back on his feet.”

Although Hammer comes from a prestigious oil-tycoon family (albeit with a checkered past and no shortage of scandals of their own), a source tells Vanity Fair that he’s actually “totally broke” and just trying to support his family by working a regular 9-to-5 in a “cubicle.”

Like Hammer, Downey had controversies aplenty that nearly derailed his career for good. In his case, it was a car full of crack cocaine, heroin, and loaded weaponry, and rehab stints. The Vanity Fair article alludes to the fact that Downey—after encountering near homelessness—staged a comeback no one expected, decades after he hit rock bottom. It suggests that someone completely unemployable now might be able to turn things around down the line, like Downey did. They even include a quote supporting Downey from famed antisemite and misogynist Mel Gibson.

I’m just gonna say it: Downey’s case is… a little different. He had an addiction. The only person he was victimizing, as far as I can tell, was himself. Yes, Hammer has reportedly faced substance abuse issues himself, but that doesn’t excuse the allegations of sexual violence and emotional abuse against women. Are they really comparable?

So when the PR spin tries to sell you a narrative of a changed man who deserves a second shot—Look how downtrodden he is! He’s pulling himself back up by the bootstraps!—please, do me a favor. Don’t fall for it. 

Psst—remember that 2017 Buzzfeed article, “Ten Long Years of Trying to Make Armie Hammer Happen”? Make that 15.

Caroline Calloway Responded to Her Lawsuit and They Responded Back 

Known pathological demon Caroline Calloway responded to her landlord’s lawsuit in glorious, sociopathic fashion. She has, very clearly, taken the liberty of turning a legal document into a creative writing exercise. (I wrote about the start of her legal saga back in March, but in case you need a refresher on this chaos: Calloway moved out of her West Village apartment without paying $40,000 of backrent she owed after not paying rent for two years. She also left the apartment completely in shambles.)

There are many delusions in the document to analyze, but one of my favorites: According to Calloway, her landlord actually owes her money, even though she went two years without paying rent. After all, she renovated the disgusting garden that was littered with, per her response, “one billion cigarette butts.” (Yes, she used this hyperbole in a legal document.) Even though no one asked her to do so, and all they wanted was her rent money.

And her landlord responded to the Counterclaims of Chaos™️ by basically telling her as much!

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TBH, it came as a shock to me when the tweet blew up. So many people hadn’t heard of it. And as I wrote, therein lies the problem. 

If you’re not familiar with Daily Harvest—if that’s even possible, given how ubiquitous their ads are—it’s a mega-popular, influencer-favorite vegan food service backed by high-power celebs like Gwyneth Paltrow, Serena Williams, Blake Griffin, and more. And it’s not just vegans who enjoy the frozen health foods: Tons of on-the-go busy bees swear by the easy, quick, and nutrient-rich options the service provides. And it makes sense! I’ve even considered trying it out, given the fact that fresh produce seems to last less than two business days in my fridge, which leaves me to resort to Easy Mac or ramen more often than not. (Not great, I know.)

Obviously, I’m glad I never signed up—not just because of the obvious toxins that have been infesting their food, but because the brand has handled this situation extremely poorly. It appears they’ve been actively trying to squash the story and brush it under the rug as victims’ anecdotes have continued to go viral, even as more and more complaints came in.

I first noticed them on the r/DailyHarvest subreddit, where seemingly hundreds of people seemed to be complaining about the same symptoms after eating the French Lentil + Leek Crumble: severe abdominal pain, back pain, fever, itchy skin, dark urine, vomiting, diarrhea, and—once admitted to the ER—troublingly elevated liver levels, and in some cases, subsequent gallbladder removal. According to the FDA, approximately 470 people had, in fact, been affected by the product as of late June, and over a dozen people had to have their gallbladders removed.

It seems they sent a meager, easy-to-miss email to some* customers who ordered the lentils, describing the symptoms as “gastrointestinal discomfort” and insinuating that those who got sick simply didn’t cook them thoroughly enough.

*Some who ordered the lentils claimed they never received an email at all.

Once the story began to blow up on places like TikTok, Reddit, and eventually Twitter, Daily Harvest had no choice but to address the matter on social media. They posted on Instagram that they had “voluntarily” recalled the product.

They then posted a formal letter in conjunction with the FDA.

Finally, they posted a letter from CEO, Rachel Drori. 

So far, the company has insisted that none of their other foods have been contaminated, even though they still haven’t identified what’s been causing the severe illnesses. How would they know, then, that nothing else is affected? Especially given the fact that many people have reported similar symptoms after eating other offerings that are patently not “Crumbles,” like the brand’s stalwart flatbread and smoothie products. The brand’s other “Crumbles,” a Walnut + Thyme flavor, shares many of the same ingredients as the recalled French Lentil + Leek ones. 

They also admit to having spent 10 days investigating with the FDA, even though they waited until 5 days later—by their own timeline—to alert their customers on social media.

Throughout the ordeal, Daily Harvest has demonstrated a blatant lack of care for the health of their customers, which is indeed ironic given the fact that it’s a… literal health company. All of this demonstrates that they aren’t doing everything they can to protect the wellbeing of their (very loyal) customers—and are still trying to shill their other products, despite the fact that illnesses have been reported from the other products and they still haven’t identified a cause for the lentils, or have ruled out the possibility of contamination.

And that’s exactly why so many personal injury law firms are licking their chops at this case. Food contaminations happen, but where things get sticky is when a company is knowingly putting their customers in harm’s way. The way Daily Harvest has suppressed information, failed to properly alert their customers, and encouraged people to continue to buy their food—without first identifying the source of the POISON (!!!)—surely makes them liable in a court of law. I’m no lawyer, obvi, but… that’s my two cents.

In any case, this is just the beginning. Lawsuits are already pouring in. If you’re someone whose health has been affected by the product, there are plenty of personal injury lawyers who are taking cases—feel free to shoot me a DM on Twitter for some contact info of good people who want to help.

My heart sincerely goes out to everyone affected by this. 

If you’re interested in learning more about food contaminations/recalls and lawsuits and prison terms that followed, here are a few episodes of one of my favorite podcasts, “Swindled,” that you might enjoy:

The Outbreak (Peanut Corporation of America)

The Formula (Nestlé Boycott of 1977)

The Well (Walkerton E. coli Outbreak)

Kylie Cosmetics Desperately Needs a Rebrand

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What originally started as an ultra-raunchy and irreverent comedy show between Cooper and former cohost Franklyn has now become a mind-numbingly boring series of interviews with “celebrity” villains like Jamie-Lynn Spears, Colton Underwood, Christine Quinn, Spencer Pratt, and Nick Viall (aka, my arch nemesis).

Since the widely publicized “divorce” between Cooper and Franklyn—If you need a refresher, I have one word for you: Suitman—Cooper snagged a record-breaking $60 million deal with Spotify. But at the same time, her popularity among the podcast’s original fanbase appears to have plummeted, with fans decrying their former “single father” for her longtime internalized misogyny and apathy towards diversity. In one episode, Cooper said “Harvard doesn’t have hot girls” and the women who go there are “ratchet.”

@kats.klowneryhows she hating from outside the club when she didn’t even get in.. #harvard #callherdaddy #alexcooper #fyp

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After posting and quickly deleting a video of herself fully tongue-kissing her boyfriend’s dog, she responded to the backlash by saying whoever has a problem with it must’ve been molested as a child.

Cooper’s content skews towards fully perpetuates heteronormative stereotypes with very few LGBTQ+ or BIPOC guests. Most of the episodes now revolve around her personal-life updates.

While CHD is still charting and likely performing well, it certainly doesn’t have the relevancy or rabid fanbase it once did. And Spotify, with $60 million to recoup, seems to be doing whatever they can to promote the show, with profiles of Cooper in the LA Times, New York Times, and ads on every corner of the Spotify app. In her New York Times interview, Cooper gave this rambling, word-salad definition of feminism:

The problem is, CHD’s original success hinged on the “BFF” dynamic between the two former hosts. (Think: unscripted moments, inside jokes, and giggles). Now, Cooper simply banks on having good chemistry with whatever guest she chooses to have on any given week, to varying degrees of success, while occasionally sounding like she’s reading from a teleprompter. 

“The podcast has no structure. No theme, no goal to achieve, no game that incorporates the Daddy Gang with the guest—it’s just lazy writing. This is where it’s evident what a difference Sofia makes in writing and planning. This podcast is failing,” reads one comment in the podcast’s dedicated subreddit. 

Meanwhile, Franklyn—originally deemed the “loser” of the breakup while suffering a very public flagellation at the hands of Barstool founder Dave Portnoy—has since launched her own successful podcast that’s been steadily climbing the charts since its premiere in October 2020 called “Sofia With an F.” With topics ranging from surviving emotional abuse to dating experiences unique to the LGBTQ+ community, fans have been applauding her efforts to pivot towards more inclusive content.

I’d personally never listened to the original CHD, but I—after the internet-breaking drama that went down—started following Franklyn, listening to “Sofia With an F,” and fully understanding why the podcast was so successful in the first place. It was……. Rebekah Vardy because of Franklyn. She’s witty, genuinely hilarious, clever, and has legitimately interesting content. Cooper, on the other hand? I can’t say the same.

You know that common saying in ~show business~ that no one person is bigger than the production? Meaning, the show will always go on without you, no matter how “essential” you think you are? Here, it seems, the show can’t tactfully evolve without one of their major talents.

Cooper (and Portnoy) bet on the idea that the show is always bigger than the talent—but without Franklyn, the entire heart and soul of that show has changed, and not for the better.

Kim Kardashian Should Be Worried About Hailey Bieber’s Skincare Line

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But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how essential it is to speak out about this stuff.

And let’s be clear here: I have no dog in this fight. I’ve never particularly considered myself a fan of either actor, although I’ve seen a few of their respective films over the years. So, when the trial began, I didn’t know much about the case, and didn’t really care to. What I did know is that I saw more Johnny Depp stans on Twitter—and pro-Johnny propaganda—than I thought could possibly exist. Who are these stans, and where did they all come from? It genuinely seemed to rival the BTS “army,” aka, the most famously powerful fanbase on Al Gore’s internet. 

And even I was swayed into buying into the anti-Amber rhetoric at first. For several years now, I’d seen tweets alluding to the fact that “Amber Heard is an abuser.” And then I found out why:

There literally was an army of bots set up in order to lay the foundation of organic-seeming support for Depp, and to paint Heard as an abuser before the trial even began. It was a coordinated cyber attack—and it worked. 

When you factor in that the jury wasn’t sequestered from internet access during the trial—and even one juror was allowed to stay on after revealing a text from his wife that said, “Amber is psychotic”—it’s no surprise that Heard was ultimately found “liable” for defamation, even with bountiful evidence that Depp was, in fact, abusive to her for years. And for decades before that, had a well-documented reputation for having on-set temper tantrums and a raging substance-abuse problem, according to many Hollywood execs.

I realized everyone I spoke to IRL was firmly “Team Johnny”—which I think spoke to the fact that, well, not everyone is as perpetually online as me, or you, or a lot of people who’ve actually dug into the facts.

So, here are some of those facts laid out in an incredibly thorough and well-researched article by Michael Hobbes (who also happens to be a cohost of a great podcast called “Maintenance Phase”) that fully swayed me.

• Johnny and Amber met while filming The Rum Diary when he was 46, and she was 23.

• From the start of their relationship, Johnny had a well-documented drinking problem that would result in him punching walls, throwing glasses, and flipping tables. (Many of the fights would start because he accused Heard of “whoring herself” out in Hollywood and auditioning for roles that involved sex scenes.)

• The first time he hit her, he slapped her multiple times until she fell off the couch she was sitting on. He then stormed off and returned, crying and apologizing. (This is a classic abuse tactic, BTW.)

• This became a pattern. Depp’s drinking and temper would lead to slaps and punches (and, on at least one occasion, sexual assault), before he would calm down with promises to return sober. Heard described the post-abuse periods as “the warm glow,” but it would never last.

• Depp’s blowups would often follow an “external stressor,” like the death of his mother or a meeting with financial advisors who informed him he’d lost millions. He would self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, take his anger and frustrations out on Heard, and surround himself with “yes” people who’d clean up the mess after he trashed hotel rooms or had a temper tantrum.

• Heard was the only person in his life who would tell him the truth, try to fix him, get him into detox programs, or take photos of him passed out to show him that he had a problem. Nothing worked.

• In their final argument before Heard finally filed for divorce and a retraining order, Depp threw a phone at her face.

• In 2018, The Sun labeled Depp a “wife beater;” he sued, and the British tabloid asked Heard to provide evidence.

• Heard had plenty of photos of her injuries—some of which showed up in red carpet photos, and were visible when she first appeared at the courthouse to file the retraining order against Depp.

• Text messages—from both Depp and his employees—substantiate the claims of abuse. (Depp’s assistant texted Heard after one blowup that “when [he] told [Depp] he hit you, he cried.”)

• Many witnesses—like friends and family members—recall seeing her with cuts, bruises, bloody lips, and missing chunks of hair.

• There are audio recordings. Heard says in one, “I cry in my bedroom… after you beat the shit out of me,” to which Depp responds, “I made a huge mistake. I won’t do it again.” Another has Heard saying, “Put your cigarettes out on someone else,” to which Depp responds, “Shut up, fatass.”

• Heard recorded one of Depp’s outbursts on video.

• Depp has a long history of violent outbursts, drug abuse, and misogyny. (This includes well-documented on-set tantrums, paparazzi attacks, violence against crew members, trashed hotel rooms, and more.) One of his famous exes, Ellen Barkin, claims he threw a wine bottle at her once, and another one, Jennifer Grey, describes him as “crazy, jealous, and paranoid.” He reportedly repeatedly used the N-word in a phone message to his ex-wife, and paid her $1.25 million not to release it. He’s defended infamous abusers Marilyn Manson, Harvey Weinstein, and Roman Polanski in the past.

• In texts, he’s referred to Heard as a “flappy fish market,” “cum-guzzling whore,” and “scumbag gold-digging cunt.”

• About the gold-digging thing: The couple’s pre-nuptial agreement would’ve entitled Heard to millions, but she walked away with just a modest settlement, dropping her claim for ongoing spousal support so she would no longer be accused of being a gold-digger.

• Although Depp claims Heard has been meticulously planning his takedown for years, her first claims of abuse were in 2013 text messages to her family and friends.

• While Depp’s side focused on the fact that Heard was abusive as well, Heard herself admits she began fighting back and engaging in screaming matches with him. Depp claims that after he won a lifetime achievement award and brought out a bottle of champagne, Heard blew up at him. (Remember: His abusive outbursts would happen while drunk, after promises of staying sober.) He claims she hit him, but this was only after he threatened to push Heard’s sister down the stairs, Heard claims.

This is the article Heard was found liable for: “I spoke up about sexual violence—and faced our culture’s wrath.” The global response to this trial has simply proven her right.

Depp claims this article was detrimental to his career. Never mind the decades of bad behavior on set, the string of box-office bombs, and articles dubbing him the “most overpaid actor in Hollywood.” From Hobbes’ article: “In the U.S. trial, his former agent said studios were losing patience with his unprofessionalism as early as 2016. His former business manager said his out-of-control addictions were fueling increasingly impulsive and erratic behavior. A Disney executive testified that no one at the studio was even aware of Heard’s op-ed when they decided not to ask Depp back for the next Pirates movie.”

Oh, and there’s the poop thing 🙄:

The truth is, this ruling sets a dangerous precedent. If a famous actress with dozens of pieces of evidence documenting years of abuse gets sued for libel over an article that doesn’t even mention her abuser’s name, what hope do any other victims have in telling their stories going forward?

You can think what you want about the trial. You can hate Amber Heard and say things like, “They were both toxic! They were both horrible to each other! They were mutually abusive!” (Read below to see the issue with that term.) But the fact is, Depp is not someone we should be celebrating, and it’s… demoralizing, to say the least, to see the way an abusive man has been celebrated after this trial and the woman he’s battered has turned into a global punching bag.

Remember: Depp is the one who took her to trial. He promised “total global humiliation.” And it worked.

Linking more articles/Twitter threads here that helped me see the truth, and you can read the rest of Hobbes’ fantastic article here.

Kim Kardashian’s New Skincare Line Is Already Under Fire

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Earlier this week, I had a conversation with my therapist. It went a little something like this:

“I’m trying to look at things from an ‘abundance’ perspective, but my anxiety is out of control. My body feels tense 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It feels like the world is on fire. We’re on the brink of a recession and stock market crash, there’s a baby formula shortage, a housing crisis, a war in Ukraine, a war on women’s bodies, a possible impending war in China, soaring rent and gas prices, another COVID wave, a monkeypox outbreak, and there’s, like… no end in sight. It all feels really, really hopeless. I thought to myself the other day, ‘What if I just ran away?’” 

“Where would you run to?” 

“I haven’t thought that far yet.”

“First of all: This is a really, really tough time.” (Love when she validates my feelings. If your therapist isn’t validating your feelings, get a new therapist.) She continued: “But just like every other tough time in history, things ultimately get better. They will get better. They always do. There’s always hope.”

And this was before an armed gunman in Uvalde, Texas locked themselves in a fourth-grade classroom and massacred 19 children, their two teachers, and injured and traumatized many, many others. 

Right when I thought things couldn’t get worse, they did. Unfathomably so. Any “hope” I had after that conversation completely dissipated. 

It’s like we’re living in hell, knowing that nothing will change. It never does. I know that sounds cynical, I know I am generally very cynical. But the truth is, our elected officials won’t do anything about our country’s gun problem, because they never, ever do. The more stories that come out about the Uvalde shooting—the armed policemen’s cowardice, their failure to breach the school for nearly an hour, the way they barred panicked parents from saving their children while even handcuffing some of them, the way one of the murdered teacher’s husbands died of a broken heart just two days after the shooting—the more I want to bash my head against a wall.

If Sandy Hook—something that’s become a flashbulb memory for so many of us—didn’t enact change in our country, what possibly could?

It’s easy to get “desensitized” to mass shootings. I still hadn’t fully processed the one that happened roughly two weeks ago at a grocery store in Buffalo, when a white supremacist live-streamed his rampage—also with a semiautomatic assault rifle—that killed 10 Black people. A community he’d purposefully targeted after getting radicalized by websites like 4chan. 

This time, I’m anything but desensitized. I’m uncontrollably angry, devastated, even physically ill. I’m pissed off at the inaction of our elected officials, even the ones I voted for. Pissed off at the police officers who stood outside the school while an 18-year-old massacred 9- and 10-year-olds with a semiautomatic assault rifle. Pissed off at the politicians who will blame anything but the murderous weapons they’ve legalized. Even pissed off at people with platforms—people with “influence”—who’ve stayed silent. “Pissed off” doesn’t even cover it, honestly. My anger and hopelessness is off the charts. It sounds unhealthy, I know, but no news story has affected me quite like this before. The photos of these babies—innocent, smiling, receiving Honor Roll certificates mere hours before their violent deaths—broke me. When I saw the news, I left work, I cried, I called my parents, I dry heaved. 

The hardest part is feeling like there’s no hope. Knowing nothing will change. Being told to “just vote.” Getting informed by the president that, “guys, it’s up to you!” (You’re literally the president, bro. And I know I had several people on Twitter try to kindly explain to me how the checks-and-balances system of our government works, but… you’re the president, bro. If anyone can do something, it’s literally you!)

Unfortunately, we happen to be alive during a time of unprecedented access to breaking news at our fingertips. The truth is, our brains weren’t built to withstand so much devastating information at once. I tweeted yesterday that, upon telling my dad this felt like the worst time to be alive, he tried to remind me that it’s a good thing, actually, that I’m not alive during the 1800s. Is it a good thing, though? Would it be so bad if we didn’t have access to every detail about every single atrocity worldwide as it happens via the internet? Would it be so bad if I was churning butter all day instead of reading sickening headlines on Twitter that are worse than the last?

I’m only half-joking when I say that. I’m trying to get back into that abundance mindset of being thankful for the cards I’ve been dealt, counting my blessings, and knowing many, many people—both alive today and those who’ve experienced war and genocide and famine and persecution for centuries—have had it unfathomably worse than me, or you, or any of us who just want to throw in the towel right now.

Yes, I’m cynical. But I also know my therapist is right: There’s always light at the end of the tunnel, even when it doesn’t feel like it. I know that sounds silly and cheesy and trite, but without hope, what do we have? Do we just give up? Should I just run away to that yet-decided location? Many of us are hanging on by a thread, and what I’m clinging onto right now is the idea that maybe we’ll eventually live to see the tides turn, to see something change.

I’m not even sure where I’m going with this. When I called my mom in a fog the other night, unable to move off the couch, she told me, “You feel too much sometimes. You have a lot of emotions*. Maybe you should write about this, to make yourself feel better.”

*more proof that I do have emotions

She was right. Writing about this has made me feel a tiny bit better. And I encourage anyone reading this to—if you haven’t yet—find an outlet that you know could make you feel better, too. Or, at the very least, just take care of yourself. Delete Twitter, hide your phone in a drawer, turn on Stranger Things or whatever, go outside. I know it’s easier said than done, but hunching over my newsfeed has certainly done me no good this week—or ever, honestly.

In the meantime, these are tangible ways to help:

Make a donation to Everytown, an organization that works tirelessly for gun control legislation.

Make a donation to the Uvalde victims’ fund, and/or the Robb Elementary Memorial Fund.

Make a donation to the four children left behind by Irma and Joe Garcia.

Make a donation to Gliffords, which fights our country’s gun lobby.

Make a donation to March For Our Lives, created by survivors of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting.

Contact your state’s representatives at www.commoncause.org, or reach any member of congress via 202-224-3121.

Join a march on June 11 in the city nearest you, calling congress to act now and end gun violence. Text March to 954-954.

Just know that you’re not alone. Everything sucks. It feels like the worst timeline. But hang on, if for no other reason, to see what might change. Curiosity can keep us going. When things eventually get better—they will, my therapist says so, and she’s always right—you’ll know you went through hell to see it.

Many people were perplexed. Twitter had jokes.

After receiving a serious roasting on the bird app, Kendall attempted to poke fun at the whole thing by agreeing with someone via quote-tweet calling her cucumber-cutting attempt “tragic.” She’s so ~self-deprecating and relatable.~

The saga doesn’t end there, though. Not for me at least.

Writer Emily Kirkpatrick—subscribe to her Substack, too!—also resurfaced a clip of Kendall on Hailey Bieber’s YouTube series asking why Hailey wasn’t “buttering” the water as it boiled.

So, it’s safe to assume Kendall’s never gone near a kitchen in her entire life.

UNLESS…

She, in fact, has stated many times over the years that she loves cooking! 

During a live Q&A with that tooth-whitening brand of hers, Moon, in May 2020, she claimed she loves to cook and usually nails recipes on her first try.

"Me and my friends love to cook together, but we're more experimental… growing up I loved to bake—it's how I would kill my time after school when I was done with my homework. I find cooking very therapeutic and generally enjoy letting something other than a phone or a TV occupy my mind."

Interesting. 

In July 2020 while touring her home for Architectural Digest, she said she’s a “pretty good cook.” 

“I’m always in [the kitchen] trying to up my chef game… At this point, I’m a pretty good cook. [My kitchen] is definitely the most-used room in the house. We’re in here almost every single day and night. I make dinner with my friends most of the time.”

She even has a signature pasta recipe! These are the ingredients:

16 oz. fettucine

½ onion, chopped

1 bag, frozen peas

1 clove minced garlic

¼ cup grated Parmesan

Salt and ground pepper

½ lemon

What I’m getting is… Kendall does like to cook, and seems to do it often?

Is this how she chops all her vegetables?

Does she add butter every time she boils the water to make her signature pea-and-wine-sauce fettuccine? Has she been doing it this whole time?

Kendall has admitted to being a stoner before, so maybe she was just being high and awkward during the cucumber video. But how does she explain putting BUTTER IN BOILING WATER? Whomstve taught her that? Was it Kris? Cookbook-writing Kris?

So many questions. So few answers. This isn’t over.

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Craig Conover Was Apparently Kicked Out of Kymanda’s Wedding

It’s no secret that Summer House is one of my favorite shows. It’s a national treasure. And, clearly, many others agree: It was just renewed by Bravo for a seventh season, along with a slew of other other shows (including—to some people’s surprise after a lackluster past two seasons—Vanderpump Rules).

That said, I can be honest about something I love: This season was a bit of a letdown. The energy was off, the partying seemed more toned-down, Craig and Austen’s appearances brought drama but changed the dynamics, some of the fights felt like rehashed arguments of seasons’ past, too much airtime was afforded to girls lying in bed while we didn’t get nearly enough Luke… the list goes on. (Did I still park my ass on the couch at 9pm ET every single Monday to watch? You betcha!)

One thing that would’ve made it all worthwhile, however, would’ve been getting to watch Craig Conover get kicked out of Kyle Cooke and Amanda Batula’s wedding—a segment that, in and of itself, oddly took up only around 10 minutes of the season finale after years of buildup.

Originally reported by Samantha Bush of The Dipp (aka @BravoHistorian and @TakeYourZoloft), several sources claim that Craig was so drunk and belligerent at the wedding—which was held at Amanda’s family’s home in New Jersey—he was personally asked to leave.

(He apparently still hasn’t apologized, to this day, and his team denies the claims.)

To our misfortune, all of this allegedly went down after the Bravo cameras had already left, hence why we have no footage of it. But it definitely happened according to several sources, and it wouldn’t be too far off from the entitled and despicable behavior we’ve come to expect from Craig, a man we’ve grown to know and hate over the years on Southern Charm. And Winter House. And Summer House.

The thirst levels are unmatched.

Has Paige Desorbo Finally Gone Too Far?

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This week, an account called @shop_jaxs_closet_ popped up on Instagram selling clothes purportedly belonging to the former Vanderpump Rules star. The bio read “Not ran by Jax Taylor.” Jax Taylor wants you to know that he is definitely, certainly, 100% not the person behind the account.

Then how do you explain this, Jason?

“So the Kardashians must be going through tough time [sic] because they have made millions selling there [sic] clothes on line [sic] and Jax is doing very well… so worry about you and stop being a hater. You look foolish.”

That’s definitely not something Jax would say! Definitely not!!!

“It’s Jax Taylor, he doesn’t buy knock offs have you seen or read about his collection?”

Love Jax writing about himself in the third person.

A moment of silence for this comment as well:

Jax’s wife Brittany later confirmed that it was, in fact, Jax behind the account, and that was also confirmed by the fact that the account posted a video of the inside of Jax and Brittany’s baby Cruz’s nursery, which was quickly deleted before being reposted on Jax’s official personal account.

@shop_jaxs_closet_ has now turned off all comments and claims to have sold and shipped everything that was previously on sale. RIP @shop_jaxs_closet—we hardly knew ye.

Since Jax is a prolific blocker who lives in a social-media echo chamber—I’m personally very proud of being blocked by him on Twitter for years—I imagine he wasn’t expecting the inundation of negative comments, and his ego, as we all know, can’t handle that. Love that for him.

Kim Kardashian Has Suddenly Gotten Extremely Defensive About Photoshopping Accusations

This was a stark change of pace for Kimmy, who usually keeps tightlipped about tabloid rumors that often include accusations of plastic surgery and toxic work environments. (“nO ToXiC wOrK eNvIrOnMeNtS,” she said just last month.)

(I implore you to swipe through this entire above slideshow so you can see how Kim actually treats her employees.)

This time, she took to Instagram stories to address some recent photoshopping rumors head on. 

It started with the missing belly button:

So all of a sudden we’re supposed to feel insecure about our belly buttons, too?! On top of EVERYTHING ELSE the Kardashians have convinced us into feeling insecure about in order to monopolize on said insecurities? (All of a sudden we all need body makeup, contouring kits to make our noses look smaller, compression shapewear, and waist trainers because apparently we’re supposed to hate the things about ourselves that we previously never even gave a second thought to.) 

Then, the Pete photoshopping, which she attempted to debunk by posting a live photo.

Kim’s “unedited” version:

The one she posted:

…yet, all this live photo did is prove that she did, indeed, photoshop his bicep to appear bigger. Thank you, @problematicfame on Instagram. (If you’re not already following them, go do that immediately.)

And most damning of all? Kim admitting to photoshopping True’s head on Stormi’s body at Disneyland shortly after the Astroworld tragedy. All for the aesthetic, she says.

I’m just going to say it: This is disgusting. She darkened the skin tone of Stormi’s hand to match True’s, and acted like it was normal.

This is NOT normal, and no “confession time hehe!”-style explanation will make it normal. If anything, it makes us question everything else they photoshop on a daily basis.

I truly hope more than anything that those kids turn out okay.

I’ll also say that top social media influencers of today are more about authenticity than the aspirational and ~mysterious~ content that influencers of the past—including the Kardashians—made their signature. Authenticity is in right now, and Kim knows it. She’s attempting to follow suit, IMO, but it’s just making her look less relatable than ever.

Tinx Apologized, But Not Before More Extremely Unsavory Revelations Surfaced 

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Let’s get into it!

I’m going to be honest with you: I’ve never followed Tinx—aka Christina Najjar, or @itsmetinx—closely enough to have much of an opinion on her. But… I’ve learned a lot about her over the past few days.

Some background: An American, Tinx grew up in London (posh!) before moving to California to attend Stanford University. Most pivotally, she gained notoriety during the lockdown stage of the pandemic with humorous pop culture commentary, “rich mom starter packs,” and more up-close-and-personal videos of herself talking into a microphone in a way that feels like you’re chatting with a close friend. She parlayed her success on TikTok into a full-blown career as an influencer, which includes a podcast sponsored by SiriusXM (“It’s Me, Tinx”), luxurious brand trips and sponsorships, and a community of nearly 2 million loyal followers across TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter. (Most of those come from TikTok, where she boasts a whopping 1.5 million followers.) And when I say “loyal followers,” I mean loyal loyal—I’ve never gotten so many DMs saying “nooooo I love her!” when I originally posted about the unsavory tweets of hers that have emerged.

She’s since branded herself as “TikTok’s big sister”—doling out advice as a thirty-something via Q&As, giving inspirational pep talks, and earnestly embracing the body-positivity movement. Yes, there’s snark, but overall, her followers seem to look up to her as a role model (or “big sister”).

Like many TikTok stars, Tinx’s rise to fame was meteoric. An “overnight success story,” if you will. And when lightning-quick rises to fame happen? Social media posts of the past tend to slip through the cracks—and, in many cases, eventually come back to haunt the person in question. 

In this case, Tinx’s old tweets—ranging from the year 2012 to early 2020, right before she “blew up”—paint a picture of a person that’s a stark contrast to the woman behind the enormous brand she’s built today. They first emerged on her dedicated “snark” Subreddit, r/tinxsnark.

First, there’s the fatphobia.

(Unclear if this is referring to Lindsay Lohan or not, but that’s where my mind went first.)

There’s more misogyny and shaming of women’s appearances.

(For context, Ken Klippenstein is a progressive American political journalist.)

Some interesting COVID-19 takes…

And, apparently, it’s safe to assume Tinx was… more conservative in her political views than she currently leads her followers to believe she is.

While some of the tweets may seem innocuous enough in some people’s opinions, many of her longtime fans have expressed disappointment over finding out their “big sister” isn’t exactly who she’s led them to believe she is.

It’s certainly interesting that Tinx appeared to be more outspoken about her right-leaning views before becoming famous, and seemed to have created a more progressive, inclusive alter ego of sorts in order to appease the masses. Or… maybe she’s just changed?

What’s even more interesting, to me, is the misogyny and body-shaming. I understand that 2013ish was a “different time,” but… it’s difficult to defend or rationalize ever saying those things.

I do believe people grow, and are worthy of forgiveness and redemption. I promise I’m not writing her off or attempting to “cancel” someone for things they said in their youth, or problematic political beliefs of the past. Again, people can change. I just think, alongside her loyal fans, I’m simply interested in seeing her acknowledge them. (As of writing this, there’s been nada on the acknowledgement front.)

Again, I’m not a Tinx scholar or longtime follower, and I know there’s a lot more to this. So if you think I missed anything important, please let us all know in the comments!

Caila Quinn Decapitated a Snake

Yes, you read that right. Former “Bachelor” and “Bachelor in Paradise” contestant Caila Quinn posted an Instagram story last week of her encouraging her gardener to decapitate a garden snake they found in her Texas backyard with a pair of scissors. (You can hear her laughing and also suggesting “a hammer” in the video.) People are maaaaaad—and rightfully so. (Netflix’s Don’t F*ck With Cats proves that nothing will stir up the internet’s ire like animal abuse.)

MAJOR, MAJOR MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: ANIMAL CRUELTY

You can watch the video here. (If this link gets removed by Imgur, you can also find it on Reddit.)

Caila did eventually apologize—✨sparkle emoji✨ included—but not before internet sleuths went digging, uncovering video evidence of Caila admitting in a podcast interview that she tells Uber drivers with body odor to buy deodorant. (You can watch the offensive-as-f*ck clip here, and the full video is still up on YouTube.)

Do with this information what you will.

The Revolve Fest Discourse Is a Reminder of How Saturated the Influencer Economy Has Become

I don’t really have anything new to add to the discourse surrounding Revolve Fest—aka, the Coachella-adjacent, Palm Springs-based festival that’s hyped by the retailer every year. You’ve likely already seen the think pieces, TikToks, and Instagram stories of influencers lamenting about the unbridled chaos of this year’s festival. (Complaints included long lines for transportation, sky-high ticket prices at roughly $2,000 a pop for “regular folk,” hefty lists of deliverables—aka, content requirements—for influencers who only received store credit in return, a lack of food and water, and more.)

It’s been compared to Fyre Festival, which… I think is a bit extreme. Yes, it sounded extremely sh*tty, indeed. Long sun exposure and dehydration are very serious and dangerous.

This take from an alleged Revolve employee also hasn’t helped perception of the retailer:

(They’ve since apologized.)

While Revolve did fly out their top sellers in the influencer sphere and treat them to the actual VIP treatment—aka, completely comped trips, transportation, room & board, etc.—they made thousands of other influencers believe they were exclusive VIPs when they actually weren’t.

After consuming as much content as humanly possible about this drama, I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of it also comes down to the fact that the numbers game of influencing isn’t doing anyone any favors. Between YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, there are more content creators who’ve managed to monetize their channels—or are attempting to—than ever. And that’s AMAZING. Democratizing fame is one of the wonderful things about social media, in a world full of Hollywood nepotism babies and trust-fund kids attributing their success solely to “hard work.” So, many micro-influencers are willing to exploit themselves, or pay out of pocket for experiences, in order to stand out. It’s not like these numbers are going down anytime soon: Becoming a world-traveling, prosperous “content creator” is likely one of the #1 job prospects of young women today. (According to a 2019 article by CNBC, 86% of young people say they want to post social media content for money in the future.)

I also believe some of the influencers involved are at fault for… perhaps having an inflated sense of entitlement. From the sounds of it, fighting words and “Do you know who I am?”s were thrown around liberally during the chain of events. (It’s giving drunk Reese Witherspoon.)

So, what happens when this oversaturation hits the fan? Will the “influencer bubble” burst? People have been claiming it will for years, but I’m not so sure. Will it become impossible to break out once every genre of niche content is already covered? Only time will tell.

Let me know what you think in the comments—I could talk about this ALL DAY.

Thanks again for reading! 💕

Correction: A previous version of this newsletter accused Tinx of misgendering Caitlyn Jenner in April 2015. Caitlyn didn’t come out as transgender until one month later. My deepest apologies for the mistake.